Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches
by Jungle Jenna
Summary: Severus discovers a book that could possibly assist in his quest to catch Lily's special attention. AU. Chapter 1-4 rewritten.
1. Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches

**_Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches_**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>__ I do not own these characters. J.K. Rowling does, however. _

_**Summary:**__ Severus discovers a book that could possibly assist in his quest to catch Lily's special attention. _

_**A/N:**__ This is a revised version of the story. After reading through it one night, I decided there were many things that needed to be fixed and spruced up. I altered many things in order to flesh out the characters and storyline. I hope this version reads more like a cohesive story than a rough draft. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p>Lily and Severus huddled over open books and sprawled parchment in a remote corner of the library. It was a crisp winter afternoon and although the sun shone brightly, a bitter wind whistled through the castle. The students of Hogwarts were bundled in hats, coats, and scarves as they scurried to class.<p>

The candle-lit fixtures overhead flickered. A trio of silvery-white ghosts glided through the wall of the library, singing a Christmas carol in a hushed, haunted melody. Lily yawned, prompting her study partner to peek up from his notes. She was daydreaming again, as she was often wont to do. Her chin was cradled delicately in one hand, her emerald eyes glazed over in thought, and her nose upturned to the multi-colored sunlight streaming in through the tall stained-glass windows. A pair of dark eyes drank in her pale skin and gleaming red hair furtively, longing to read her mind. His gaze fell upon his untidy scrawl once more when her eyes suddenly met his, having felt the weight of his gaze on her skin.

"Bored?" he queried lightly, attempting to alleviate his embarrassment.

She raised her shoulders and stretched her arms across the table, like a graceful, green-eyed tabby.

"Yes," she sighed. "I think I'm going blind from reading in this dim light. Shall we take a break?"

He smirked, half concentrated on reviewing his notes, before stowing them away in the pages of a textbook.

"Alright," he nodded. "Let me put these away, first," he gestured to the books piled beside him on the table.

Lily began collecting her belongings, as Severus gathered up his mountain of books and disappeared down one of the aisles. He knew instinctively where to return them for he'd poured over them countless times. One could say the library was like a sanctuary to Severus, although he much rather preferred the variety of selection in Knockturn Alley. The best and most informative books on Dark Magic at Hogwarts was in the Restricted Section, but there were only so many teacher's notes he could use to gain access to the information he desired most without looking suspicious. The staff and majority of students at Hogwarts had a rather annoying stigma against anyone who experimented with magic. Severus had paid dearly for his curiosity many times, although he would admit that his intentions hadn't always been entirely pristine.

As Severus shifted the books into their proper places, he sighed and caressed their ancient spines reverently, his fingers long and oddly graceful.

He couldn't adequately explain what happened next. It was as if one of the books had _winked _at him, strange as it might sound. He turned his head quickly, startled. There amongst the dark and threadbare volumes on werewolves, vampires, and giants was a garishly pink book littered with gold cursive. He plucked the thin book from the shelf and flipped it over.

_Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches_, the cover read.

The tentative silence was broken by his snort of derision.

_What a load of rubbish!_

However, curiosity got the better of him and Severus opened it slowly, as if a giant, man-eating spider would burst forth from the pages. He scanned the aisle at either end to make sure he was completely alone before lowering his eyes to peruse the introduction.

"_This 10th anniversary edition of the highly-acclaimed 'Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches' will equip any young wizard with the necessary tools to win the heart of his dream witch. Come with us on this journey, as we explore the mystery that is the female mind. After all, what any woman truly wants is for a man to understand and satisfy her deepest desires." _

"_Severus Snape_!" a voice hissed.

For a moment, he thought Lily stood behind him, but found himself to be alone upon whirling around to face her.

"Where are you?" she inquired from beyond the narrow aisle.

His body relaxed as he let out a deep sigh, and he quickly discarded the pink abomination on the nearest shelf. When Lily rounded the corner, Severus was leaning on the bookshelf with his hands clasped behind his back. He raised his dark eyebrows, feigning innocence.

"Did you get lost back here?" she asked, her eyes twinkling in amusement.

"No," he said, his tone more clipped than he intended it to sound. "I was just… thinking."

"Thinking," she echoed, regarding him shrewdly.

He looked like a guilty, flustered child and she had no idea what he could be up to. Secretly, she worried he was getting involved in stuff he shouldn't again and she considered voicing this fear… but then she remembered how sullen and broken he had looked the day he came to her house last summer, after she had pointedly ignored his letters of apology for weeks.

"_I will do anything," _he had pleaded. _"You're the most important person in my life. I've been a horrible friend, I know, but I promise to make things right. Give us a chance to talk and figure out where to go from here, you and me."_

"Alright, whatever you say," she shrugged, choosing to drop the subject. "C'mon," she said, grabbing his hand, "let's go grab a bite to eat. I'm starved!"

He trailed after her wordlessly, preoccupied with thoughts of his narrow escape and the ugly pink book resting on the shelf behind him. The appearance of it unsettled him – not because of the corny title and shoddy writing – but because it forced him to acknowledge something he'd been struggling with for years: the fact that he was in love with his best friend.

* * *

><p>Severus sat uncomfortably beside Lily at the Gryffindor table with his shoulders rounded and customary scowl in place. Since they reconciled over the summer, it had been part of their agreement to show more tolerance for each other's house and differing opinions, generally speaking. If they were going to remain friends, it was important to acknowledge what they didn't see eye-to-eye on, so their weaknesses could become strengths.<p>

They called it 'Inter-House Magical Cooperation.'

However, their treaty came with a few drawbacks, to say the least. After declaring his loyalty to Lily, Severus's future Death Eater friends regarded him as a blood traitor, while Lily's fellow Gryffindors viewed her as delusional for believing Severus was capable of turning over a new leaf. It was all very complicated.

Severus watched in awe as Lily polished off her fourth helping of treacle tart.

"Remind me to warn the kitchen elves next time we eat," he commented wryly. "I'm sure they'll appreciate me for it."

"Oh, sod off," she snapped before cramming the last bite in her mouth.

She swooned at the taste.

"I've been craving this all week, so don't ruin the moment," she added.

He smirked. "I doubt anything could come between you and licking your plate clean."

She stuck her tongue out at him and shimmied in her seat. He grinned crookedly at the spectacle she was making of herself, but it quickly faltered when he glanced the other way and recognized a tall, dark-haired girl strutting their way.

"Brace yourself," he whispered to Lily. "The Frilly Overlord is fast approaching."

Lily nearly choked on her treacle tart. Severus stood corrected – alas, the only thing that could come between Lily and food was Iris Birmingham, the Ravenclaw girl who halted beside them with an air of gloating pleasure. 'Frilly Overlord' was a favorite among the many nicknames they'd fashioned for her in the past, although Severus's all-time favorite had to be something that rhymed with 'witch.'

Iris Birmingham was one of the few people Severus knew Lily despised with a burning passion. Over the years, Iris had made it her goal to one-up Lily at every turn. Normally, Lily enjoyed the friendly competition and would always rise to the challenge, but Iris was an exception. Severus figured she was jealous of Lily and had nothing better to preoccupy her time with.

"Hello, Lily," she greeted with a cold smile.

She wrinkled her nose as her cool, blue eyes fell upon Severus. He curled his lip in response.

Lily cleared her throat. "Hello," she greeted briskly. "Can I help you?"

Iris tossed her head and the graceful movement sent her long black hair rippling down her back.

"I simply came to relay the most wonderful news," she clapped her hands softly. "Remember last week how we discussed finding dates for Slughorn's Christmas party? Well, Angus Dean finally plucked up the courage and asked me last night. Isn't that wonderful?"

The Ravenclaw smiled mirthlessly at the wounded expression on Lily's face. She faltered for only a moment, but Severus saw it for what it was and it made his heart sink.

"Wow, Iris," Lily nodded, her lips twitching. "That's splendid. I'm very happy for you…"

Iris bowed her head in what Severus thought to be a gracious yet highly self-satisfied manner.

"I had a feeling you would be thrilled," she said. "I know you had your little heart set on Dean asking you but as it turns out, he fancies me and well—as they say: life carries on."

Severus glared intensely at the Ravenclaw girl, sorely tempted to hex the gloating expression from her face. He wouldn't mind doing the same to Angus Dean, simply for sparking Lily's interest. It was obvious Lily was struggling to maintain her composure and he realized that, despite his stunned jealousy, defending her was his top priority.

"What poor, mindless bloke would want to go to Slughorn's party with you?" he sneered.

Iris rounded on him, her mask of charm and beauty melting to reveal her infinitely more grotesque self – her true self.

"That's rich, coming from you," she spat, eyeing him up and down. "Tattered robe, greasy hair, _gray underpants_—believe me, you're the last boy any self-respecting girl would consider worthy enough of her time, and secondly—."

"Actually," Lily interrupted, rediscovering her voice. "Severus and I are going to Slughorn's party together. Isn't that right, Sev?"

He stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Yeah," he nodded, his eyes narrowing and thin mouth curling into a smirk as a seed took root in his mind. "That's right. I asked you yesterday after you turned Angus down—for the _third_ time, I might add."

Lily's eyes glittered strangely, though she didn't protest to the web he was beginning to spin. He glanced sidelong at Iris whose blue eyes darted from one to the other.

"You see," he continued, "Angus Dean had pursued Lily countless times before it ever occurred to him to ask you. In fact, the only reason he asked you was because Lily suggested it. I suppose it was all for the best, since you got what you wanted in the end—like they say: beggars can't be choosers."

He stood abruptly, causing Iris to stumble backwards. He stared down his hooked nose at her and sneered.

"C'mon, Lily," he said, brushing past the gaping Ravenclaw girl.

Lily glanced quickly over her shoulder at the stunned expression on Iris's face, as she made to follow Severus. She grinned a little, in spite of herself.

* * *

><p>"Sev, that was so wonderful and yet horrible, at the same time!" Lily exclaimed breathlessly for the sixth time since their departure from the Great Hall. "I can't believe you —how can I ever thank you enough for—do you think we should go back to apologize?"<p>

Severus snorted, opening his mouth to deliver a disparaging remark.

"But how could I apologize?" she reasoned, cutting him off. "She deserved it! But still…"

Their trek led them to the courtyard. The sky was gray, the ground was covered in gleaming snow, and their hot breath was visible in the frigid air. Severus braced a pillar and cleared his throat, suddenly shy.

"I assume I have a date to Slughorn's party?" he asked, regarding Lily shrewdly, inwardly cringing at the way his voice cracked.

Lily's bright eyes were wide and unblinking. His question had jolted her from the throes of her verbal tirade.

"Obviously," she rolled her eyes playfully and grinned from ear-to-ear. "Who else would I go with? We are an inseparable team."

Severus was immediately endeared by her sentiment and the slight gap in her two front teeth, but he couldn't help feeling petulant over Lily's supposed interest in Angus Dean – a brawny, seventh-year, Quidditch captain, no less! There were many things he wanted to do to the Hufflepuff boy in that moment, but he would be forced to content himself with something harmless, like showing him his middle finger.

Severus stuffed his frozen hands deep inside his coat pockets and scuffed the wet ground with the toe of his boot.

"I can't believe you fancy Angus Dean," he said bitterly, not daring to look up.

"I don't fancy him _that _much," Lily replied defensively, crossing her arms. "Why should it matter to you, anyway?"

"I'm your best friend," Severus huffed. "You're supposed to tell me everything."

"What was I _supposed _to do?" She flung her arms in the air. "You have something nasty to say about every bloke I mention. It's easier to keep my business to myself after being put down so many times."

"I never intend to put you down," Severus scoffed. "I just try to be realistic. None of the boys you're interested in are right for you."

"Oh?" Lily raised an eyebrow. "Enlighten me, then. Who _is _right for me, since you're so knowledgeable in such matters?"

Severus rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, looking exasperated.

"Well," he began importantly, "I picture you with someone intelligent and gifted. More on the bookish side, perhaps. Not so much an athletic type, which you usually tend to go for."

"What, like Remus Lupin?" Lily suggested.

Severus's face contorted. "Hardly. No offense, but he's sort of a nutter and he's complete shit at Potions."

"_Oh_," Lily tapped her chin thoughtfully, a teasing gleam in her eye, "then my type is more like _you_ then, eh?"

Severus looked horrified.

"_No_," he muttered vehemently, thankful the cold masked his reddening face, "I'm not even interested in girls. I mean," he backtracked at once, "they're nice and all, but I only care about school right now."

Lily's eyebrows had traveled up into her hairline. Her cheeks were looking a tad pink, but there was no knowing if it was from the heat in her face or the chill in the air. Either way, she evidently decided it was best to dispel the tension lingering between them.

"I wasn't even that interested in Angus Dean," she said, "especially after learning he asked Iris Birmingham to the party. She's gorgeous and all, but any bloke who fraternizes with her is only after one thing. How else would they be able to put up with her? Besides, I'm glad to be going with you instead."

_Well, I'm happy to be a solid Plan B, _Severus thought glumly as Lily wound her arm through his. She smiled fondly up at him.

"Thanks for sticking up for me today, Sev. I'll never forget the look on Iris's face when we left. She looked like one great, stupid fish. Come, my slippery friend," she beckoned, "let's move somewhere warm before I freeze my nose off."

_Friend_. Would he ever escape that word? Could he ever be classified as something more? Hiding his feelings from her was beginning to drive him mad. A sudden thought occurred to him and ludicrous as it was, it was sorely tempting to give a try.

The moment he exchanged goodbyes with Lily, he returned to the library and found the pink book where he'd left it. He carried it to the front desk where Madame Pince sat leafing through recently used books for possible damage. She examined _Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches _in the dim light and cocked a thin eyebrow, regarding him shrewdly over the rim of her spectacles. He glared in return and yanked the book from her grasp, as soon as it was possible to leave. When he returned to his dormitory, he was pleased to find himself alone. He took one last, hopeful look at the book before stuffing it under his mattress, completely out of sight.


	2. Arguments

_**Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches** _

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you for reading - please enjoy!_

* * *

><p>There had been a point in time where Severus Snape would rather have swallowed hot coals than be subjected to Lily's rejection of his feelings; but lately, he'd felt as if he'd already swallowed them and the only way to dislodge them from his throat would be to fess up what he'd been hiding for years.<p>

At least then he would know where he stood and would no longer have to recycle through endless daydreams. He seriously doubted he stood a chance against others who fancied her, but the past year had been insufferable.

He suspected it was a mixture of hormones and indigestion.

Severus waited until the Slytherin dormitory was full of guttural snores before he reached underneath his mattress to withdraw the pink book. He drew the green curtains closed around his four-poster and breathed a soft "_Lumos!_" Suddenly, his face and rumpled sheets were bathed in a silvery white light. He dimmed it so the tip of his wand glowed enough to be able to read and not draw undue attention. He picked up where he left off in the library.

_"Before we get started, remember this: any witch who disregards who you are and expects you to change according to her vision is not worth pursuing. The best type of witch to pursue is one who accepts you for who you are, warts and all. However, this rule of thumb is not entirely black and white. The purest form of love is that which inspires the best part of us to grow. One way to determine if a witch is worth pursuing is to notice the way she treats you and makes you feel. _

_If you are often uplifted and encouraged to do noble things, then she is worth going after. If you often feel as if you can never measure up or have a diminished sense of self-worth, then it's best to move on and forget her. The first and most integral part of charming the perfect witch for you is to be yourself._

_ Before we delve into the first fail-safe way of charming a witch, please take a moment to reflect upon past experiences, and take mental notes of your strengths and weaknesses. What do you feel you did best, and what would you like to improve on?" _

_Hmm._ This was difficult, since he lacked any wooing experiences to ponder. Although, one thing Severus considered a strength _and_ a weakness was the duration in which he had managed to hide his affections from Lily.

For that, he deserved a gold star.

With a sigh, he flipped to the second chapter, entitled: _'First Impressions.'_

_"First impressions are a make-or-break deal, so presenting yourself in the right light is key. The objective of this chapter is to find the perfect balance between exhibiting your good qualities with a good dose of humility. No witch in her right mind finds a show-off attractive. In most cases, pride leads to poor judgment." _

He smirked in the half-light, thinking of Potter. He also recalled his first meeting with Lily at the playground, and how disastrous it had been. Somehow he had always found a way to offend her back then, but she always came around in the end with a little prodding on his part. He turned the page.

_"The second-most important thing to remember is to be her friend first. It's important for her to know she can trust you. However, be careful to not fall into the 'only-friends' trap. The longer you pursue a friendship, the harder it may become to establish a romantic relationship. Sometimes a long-term friendship can lay the foundation for a solid love connection, but many witches may be wary of risking a good friendship through dating. _

_Avoid misrepresenting your intentions by incorporating signals that show your romantic interest. For example, make eye contact with her during conversation or if you happen to pass her by. If she isn't looking in your direction, get her attention by greeting and smiling at her. During conversation, touch her arm or shoulder lightly to break down the physical barrier. Trust your instincts in your particular situation. If you think innocent physical affection is welcome, start small and work your way upward. If she's giving you signals to back off, it's best to follow suit, unless you want your privates hexed off."_

He supposed with an impending sense of doom that being friends for seven to eight years meant he'd fallen into the 'just friends' trap. He closed the book and shoved it under his mattress. Extinguishing the light, he buried his face into his pillow and reassured himself that the author was probably a dried-up spinster who owned one-hundred cats, and didn't have any real experience to base this knowledge on.

As children, Lily had often been affectionate with him. He had never known how to react to her hugs and other small cares, unused to the feeling of warmth and security it elicited in his chest. He used to marvel at how easily she touched him, as if it came to her by instinct, and it made him realize just how different his home life was compared to others'. Severus once dreaded those small instances of physical contact between he and Lily because he always felt like a complete duffer for never knowing what to do or say.

As they grew older, Lily's limbs elongated, her body transfigured into something decidedly soft and feminine, and her face lost the round youthfulness of a child's. Severus found himself responding oddly to these changes: whenever Lily glanced his way, his armpits and the back of his neck felt sweaty; whenever Lily embraced him, her strawberry-scented hair inspired the sudden, embarrassing urge to nuzzle his nose against her neck; and instead of daydreaming about inventing dark curses and modifying potions, he pretended he was a spy for You-Know-Who and that Lily was so ridiculously impressed with him, she couldn't help but snog him senseless.

Unfortunately, the moment he realized how much he wanted to touch her, she stopped grabbing his hand, poking him, and messing up his hair. Their hugs became stilted, and it was obvious to him that she was careful to not let their bodies touch. The change had occurred the summer before their fourth year. Lily had been sun-bathing beside the river and Severus, overcome by his attraction to her, let slip some of the things he'd been feeling. He swore she had been about to kiss him that day, but then her oaf of a sister interrupted and it never amounted to anything.

Shortly after the start of their fourth term, other blokes began noticing Lily. He attempted to interfere, but stopped after she angrily told him off for sabotaging her dates, causing him to lose hope that she would ever return his feelings. He figured his intentions were made obvious by his jealousy, and the fact that she didn't immediately fall into his arms was further evidence that she didn't see him as anything more than a friend.

He missed when they were young. He missed the simplicity of childhood. When had he become so tortured and awkward?

Before Hogwarts, they used to lay in the grass with their heads side-by-side, as they read aloud from books and wove elaborate stories from their imaginations. They practiced wandless magic, talked about school, and shared their dreams for the future. Sometimes the gurgle of the river and leaves rustling overheard would lull them to sleep, and they would wake hours later to find the sky infused with gold and pink from the setting sun.

Sometimes she turned her head to the side to look at him, and all he could ever do was peer into her vivid eyes through the summer haze. Severus had fancied her even then, although his feelings were far less complicated then than they were now.

However, growing older hadn't complicated _everything. _They still experienced moments of quiet companionship from time to time, more so during their school breaks and especially since their reconcilement.

One of Severus's favorite things to do with Lily was walk. They walked together during all times of the year: at school and at home. At school, they walked aimlessly through corridors and circled the Black Lake, watching with interest as the giant squid flapped it's tentacles above the surface of the water. In the summer and winter, their favorite time was to walk at night, listening to the sounds of passing cars, blaring television sets, and barking dogs.

Even with all the noise, the stars twinkling overhead and the gravel crunching beneath their shoes somehow drowned everything else out. Occasionally, their shoulders bumped and Severus would mutter a quick "sorry", grateful that the darkness cloaked his moment of vulnerability. Moments like these represent the most honest, peaceful, and intimate moments of his young life.

What would he do if Lily rejected him? He couldn't imagine feeling for anyone else the way he felt for her. Would he be able to continue a friendship with her if it turned out she didn't feel the same way? Could he feign nonchalance if she fell in love with someone else? That was the scariest part of confessing his feelings to Lily: Severus had invested so much of himself in her – his childhood, his adolescence, his hopes and dreams for the future.

Things were changing quickly. In little more than a year, they would graduate and people would be forced to go their separate ways. On top of that, a revolution (or war) seemed to be looming on the horizon. Severus had to act while he had the chance, before they were thrust into adult life and mounting responsibility. He had almost lost her friendship once, and he didn't want it to be threatened again. He wanted them to emerge from the oncoming change better and stronger than they were before, ready to take on the world together.

* * *

><p>"You're going to Slughorn's party with <em>Snape<em>?" hissed Mary MacDonald, momentarily forgetting she was in a library teeming with students.

Lily and Madame Pince shushed her at the same time—the latter with such ferocity that spit flew from her lips like fireworks. Several students from surrounding tables glanced their way in disapproval, annoyed by the disturbance. Mary shriveled in her chair like a raisin, red-faced. She leaned across the table, careful to keep her voice low.

"What happened to Angus Dean?" she whispered. "I rather liked that route. He's far better-looking and, well, _normal_."

"I won't deny Severus has his quirks," Lily sighed, dipping her quill in a pot of ink before copying down notes on fresh parchment "but he isn't that bad, is he?"

Mary looked at her friend as if she'd just sprouted another head.

"Lily," she whispered exasperatedly, "he called you a_ you-know-what_!"

"I _know!"_ Lily exclaimed softly. "Like I could forget."

"I don't even know why you still talk to him," Mary continued. "He has to be seriously blackmailing you, or something."

Lily glared, quill halting mid-sentence.

"He's my best friend," she replied simply. "I've known him since before Hogwarts. Trust me on this, Mary. I swear to you I would not have forgiven him if I didn't believe his change to be sincere."

"How is that supposed to convince me or others, for that matter?" Mary argued hotly, folding her arms. "How is anyone supposed to understand if you treat everything like it's a big secret?"

"I don't make my decisions based on what others think of me," Lily retorted. "And the only reason why I don't talk about what happened between Severus and I over the summer is because it's _personal, _and I don't want it spread around school."

At that moment, Lily noticed Severus walk into the library. Mary followed her gaze.

"Speak of the devil," she said.

His eyes scanned the tables, searching for her. Lily waved and caught his attention and he looked as though he intended to join her, until he spotted Mary glaring at him. He hesitated before gesturing that he would be in the back. Mary turned back to Lily with a heavy sigh.

"You can't blame me for worrying about you," Mary went on, a defensive gleam in her eye. "I don't think you see the big picture, and I'm trying to be a friend by filling you in. The signs have been there for years. I thought you were smart enough to put two-and-two together."

"If you want to be a true _friend_," Lily spat venomously, "then you would trust my judgment enough to let me make my own decisions. You have a very biased understanding of Severus, as you rely wholly on gossip and are as quick as everyone else to criticize him for being different. I never offered him an ultimatum because I hoped he would make the right decision on his own, and he did."

Severus reappeared before Mary could reply, surprising her by running his fingers up her arm before his hand settled lightly on her shoulder. She had a sneaking sense he'd been spying.

"Do you still want to study for Charms?" he whispered, letting a curtain of black hair shield his face from Mary, promptly dismissing her from the conversation.

"Yes, when would you like to meet up?" she asked, staring up into his thin face.

He glanced quickly at Mary. "Well, I'm free now, if it's not a bad time," he answered uncertainly, shifting awkwardly where he stood.

Mary lifted her hands. "Don't mind me," she said, "I was just about to leave."

"Er – alright," Severus muttered. "I'll be at our usual table in the back," he gestured with a flick of his head.

"I'll be there in a minute," she called after him as he loped away.

Mary cleared her throat. Lily jumped and rapidly blinked her eyes.

"Are you sure you two are just going as friends?" Mary's hazel eyes bore into Lily's.

"Obviously," Lily flushed, dropping her gaze. "Hasn't that always been the case?"

"You tell me," she shrugged, and then pointed at her. "Your face is pink."


	3. Compliments and Confrontations

_**Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches** _

* * *

><p>"Something's different about your hair," Severus blurted, breaking the silence of their study session.<p>

Their winter holiday was fast approaching. It felt as if all they'd been doing lately was eat, attend class, study, and sleep. Aside from their study sessions in the library, the only other times Lily had seen Severus was in class, at mealtimes, and in the corridor. She was eagerly looking forward to their Christmas holiday, which was only two weeks away.

Lily straightened in her chair and regarded her friend quizzically.

"Oh?" she prompted an explanation with a raise of her eyebrow.

He suddenly seemed unsure of himself, as though he hoped the ground would swallow him whole.

"Yeah," he ran a jerky hand through his oily hair. "It's a nice sort of different."

This gave Lily pause for thought. As far as she was aware, her hair looked the same every day.

"Did my hair look bad before now?" Lily queried, appearing somewhat affronted.

Severus sighed and covered his face with his hands. "No," he said, mildly-frustrated. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant it as a – a compliment."

He dropped his hands and regarded her intensely.

"A compliment?" she parroted, clearly startled.

"Yeah," he said.

"Oh."

"Yeah…"

An uncomfortable silence descended upon them. They each watched one another from the corners of their eyes. Severus rubbed the back of his neck and Lily tugged on the hem of her flower-printed sweater.

Severus had been acting odd around her that day, ever since her heated debate with Mary earlier that afternoon. It made her wonder if he had eavesdropped on the conversation, and if something they said was responsible for the sudden shift in his attitude. It didn't explain why he was suddenly complimenting her, though, unless…

"_Are you sure you two are going to the party as friends?" _Mary's doubtful voice echoed in her mind.

_Does Severus think I fancy him? _ Lily wondered with a note of anxiety.

Lily Evans was what one would consider a popular girl. She was intelligent, kind-hearted, and possessed an irreverent sense of humor. People enjoyed her easy laugh, her lively demeanor, and her nerve for standing up to Potter and his mates. Despite her popularity, Lily had never been one to do things by the book, as was evident by her close friendship with Severus – a Slytherin, no less! What others didn't know, however, is that somehow, despite the resistance their friendship faced each day at Hogwarts, Lily had managed to develop a secret crush on the most disliked boy in their year.

It all began the summer before their fourth year, at the playground where they'd first met. The memory of that day was clear as glass in her mind: Lily and Severus were sprawled on the grass in the shade of a large tree. Severus absently tore apart blades of grass as he spoke, his voice faltering as two older girls walked through the playground gate and took seats on neighboring swings, the same ones Lily had flown from countless times. They lit long, thin cigarettes, smoke curling idly from their painted lips as they exhaled their first drag. They traced circles in the sand with their bare toes as they talked, smoked, and threw their heads back with laughter.

She noticed his eyes travel to them from time to time. It was obvious he thought they were attractive. Lily watched them too, envying their confidence and their coy femininity. She tugged on the hem of her knee-length skirt, feeling ridiculously naïve compared to the two older girls. Until that moment, Lily had never viewed Severus as being the same as other blokes in their year. She had been so wrapped up in the memory of him as a child (ill-fitting clothes, badly cut hair, a gigantic book nestled in his arms at all times) to realize he was maturing into a young man, just as she was merging into womanhood. Suddenly, she became hyper-aware of the fact that they weren't just childhood friends – he was a boy and she was a girl.

That weekend, Lily's mother took her clothes shopping and she used her allowance money to purchase her first two-piece bathing suit. It was a dark green color that complimented her pale skin and vibrant hair. She admired her reflection in the full-length dressing room mirror, feeling positively sexy and grown-up. Her father threw a fit when he saw what she'd gotten from the store.

"Don't you dare wear that outside the house," he instructed firmly, "especially around that Snape boy. I don't like the way he looks at you."

"_Really_?"

Perhaps she had sounded too eager. The look in her father's eyes was enough to kill.

"Honestly, Richard," Lily's mother admonished, "you worry far too much. Lily is a young woman now, not a little girl."

"Margaret," he replied sharply, "she doesn't yet understand that the way she looks and behaves can have a significant impact on a fourteen-year-old boy. Believe me, I was once that age. I guarantee that no adolescent boy can be trusted!"

"I believe Lily has been a good influence on Severus," her mother speculated. "His parents have been very neglectful of him over the years, and it's important that he learns to hold accountability to others. Otherwise, he will wander through life with no sense of direction."

"He follows her around like a stray dog," her father protested. "I don't want him to drag Lily down. She has far too much potential."

"I understand your concerns, Richard," her mother replied soothingly. "I have many of my own. But I trust Lily's judgment enough to allow her to make her own decisions. What if, in the end, she motivates Severus to work hard for a stable and successful future?"

Lily glanced between the two. "You two are talking as if I'm not here," she interrupted, clearly uncomfortable.

Her parents looked at her with a jolt, as if they had forgotten she was standing beside them. After a moment of awkward silence, they began discussing her father's work, though by the twitching of his mustache, Lily could tell he was itching to say more on the former subject.

Since she doubted her father was planning to build a swimming pool inside their house anytime soon, she hid her new bathing suit beneath a pair of jean shorts and a red and gold striped t-shirt. She grabbed a book, sun cream, and a floppy hat before making her way to the small clearing by the river. Her stomach twisted and turned the entire walk there. Severus was already cooling his feet in the river when she arrived. When he glanced over his shoulder at the sound of twigs crunching beneath her sandals, Lily's face flooded with heat.

"It's about time!" he greeted in tones of mock-agitation. "I was about ready to assemble a search team."

He climbed to his feet and walked toward her, eyeing the red and gold striped t-shirt. "Typical Gryffindor," he clucked_, _tucking his hands in his back pockets.

She narrowed her eyes and swatted him with her book. "Be quiet, you."

As she was unloading her belongings on the grass, Severus jerked his head toward the trees.

"I'm going to take a piss," he informed her.

"Thanks for the play-by-play," she muttered, as her friend disappeared into the thicket of trees.

She seized the moment of privacy as her opportunity. By the time Severus returned, she was kicking off her shorts, her t-shirt lying crumpled on the soft grass. From the corner of her eye, she watched as Severus halted at the edge of the clearing. She glanced at him shyly, feigning ignorance. _Why am I doing this? _She wondered. _I'm acting so stupid, fishing for attention like this. _She allowed herself to feel somewhat pleased at the way his shoulders rounded and eyebrows rose, in what seemed to be alarm.

"What're you doing?" he demanded, his tone a mixture of horror and alarm. "What happened to your clothes?"

"They're right there," she gestured to the discarded clothing on the ground.

It took every ounce of her strength to maintain her composure. Even if she appeared calm and collected on the surface, she was really flying by the seat of her pants. Severus inched along the edge of the clearing, eyeing her with a level of apprehension and distrust, as though she were a wild animal.

"Why're you acting so dodgy, Sev?" she called his bluff, smearing sun cream on her bare midriff all the while.

Lily supposed he had a reason to distrust her. She wasn't stupid. She knew exactly what she was doing. She wanted him to notice her the way he'd noticed the girls in the park. She'd never been flirted with or asked out. Perhaps she was too young, or maybe something was wrong with her. Either way, Severus was her best friend. She felt comfortable and safe around him. She could share things with him she wouldn't with anyone else. This accessibility gave her the courage to test her feminine wiles, or whatever her mother referred to them as.

Perhaps Professor Slughorn was right – maybe she did belong in Slytherin.

"C'mon, Sev," she coaxed. "I won't bite."

Severus didn't look reassured. As he stepped closer, he nearly tripped over a rock obscured by the long grass. He cursed under his breath. Lily fought to restrain a grin.

As Severus waded in the knee-deep water, scouting for toads on the river bank with a glass jar in hand, Lily set up shop on the grass with her floppy hat and sunglasses in place. Lying on her stomach, she peeled open her book and began to read. It was peaceful listening to the birds chirp overhead, the wind rustle through the trees, and the river steadily flow by. She put down her book and lifted her nose in the air, inhaling the warm sweetness of summer. She glanced over at Severus and realized with a jolt that he was watching her. He looked away and suddenly found the dirt beneath his fingernails keenly fascinating.

Lily heard a few splashes come from the water. A moment later, he wandered over to her with a large toad in his cupped hands. He sat cross-legged on the grass and presented it to her.

"Look what I found," he said. "His legs would be perfect for that potion I was telling you about the other day."

Lily rolled onto her side and propped her body up with one arm.

"Aw, Sev, he's darling!" she exclaimed, petting its head. It croaked in response. "Look at his little face. You're not going to cut _him _up, are you?"

"I'm a Potioneer," he stated, matter-of-fact. "What else am I supposed to do with it, dress it up in a bonnet and push it around in a baby buggy?"

"Exactly," Lily grinned. "You're learning quickly, Sev. I'm proud of you!"

He rolled his eyes. "You're such a girl," he sneered.

"Well," Lily began sagely, "I'm glad to see your Hogwarts education hasn't gone to waste." She glanced at the toad again, an odd thought popping into her mind. "D'you reckon if I give it a peck, it'll turn into a prince?"

"Dunno," Severus shrugged noncommittally. "Try it."

Lily scooped the toad from his hands and brought it to her lips. It felt cold and slimy against her flesh.

"Bad luck," Severus remarked, as the toad leapt from her hands, unchanged.

"I suppose I should've seen it coming," she shrugged, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Severus mirrored her position in the grass. Supporting himself on one elbow, he moved his fingers over the soft, sweet-smelling ground, appearing thoughtful. Lily pretended not to notice the way his black eyes darted up and down her lily-white body. It was a nervous, paranoid sort of movement, as though he worried she might catch him in the act, but he was willing to risk a glance anyway.

Suddenly, as if the words could no longer be contained, he burst out: "You know why I like you?"

The words sounded clumped and rushed. His fingers were knotting themselves together.

Lily leaned forward, eager for him to continue. "Why?" she breathed, hardly daring to blink.

Severus began tearing at the long grass and forced his gaze to level with hers. Something in them must've spurred him on, for his next words were carried with a trace of more daring.

"You're the only girl I know who comes home from school with their pockets full of frogspawn and you go around kissing stray toads, as if it's the most normal thing in the world. You're fearless, and different, and unabashedly you."

They stared at each other for a moment. Suddenly, it felt as though the air had evaporated from their clearing . Lily nervously wet her lips, noticing the way his eyes darted quickly to her mouth, his ears reddening, and the bob of his Adam's apple.

Just as Lily was titling her head forward and Severus's eyes were widening, Petunia stomped though the thick underbrush, emerging into the clearing with her hands firmly placed on her hips. Lily jerked away from Severus, her face burning with shame.

"Lily!" she called shrilly, her tone laced with disapproval. "What're you doing dressed like that around _him_?" she pointed an accusing finger at Severus. "I thought Mummy and Daddy told you not to!"

"Tuney, what're you doing here?" Lily was breathless from her sister's sudden appearance. "Spying on us again, are you?"

"Mummy wanted to know where you were," she spat, crossing her arms. "She's been worried sick because you never bothered to tell her where you ran off to. Wait till she hears what you two have been getting up to out here. She and Daddy will forbid you from seeing that awful boy, like they should've done years ago."

Petunia turned on her heel and stomped back through the thicket of trees.

"Tuney – wait!" Lily cried, struggling to pull her shorts and t-shirt back on.

She cast an apologetic look in Severus's direction. He stared at her in a mixture of confusion and disappointment.

"I'm sorry, Sev," she panted, "I have to catch up to her before she tattletales on me."

She dashed after her sister, leaving the rest of her belongings strewn on the ground. Even though she managed to catch up with Petunia, Lily couldn't convince her to keep her mouth shut. She was forced to stand by as Petunia ratted her out to their mother, wildly exaggerating the details of what she had witnessed.

Lily and her mother had a very long talk about the importance of respecting her body, especially in front of teenage boys, and how she didn't like that Lily and Severus played in an area so removed from supervision, and blah, blah, blah. Much to Lily's relief and Petunia's disappointment, her mother promised to say nothing of it to her father, claiming he was far too protective of his daughters and that she didn't want to drag "poor Severus" into something he wasn't to blame for.

That night after supper, Lily had more time to reflect on the day's events. She replayed what Severus had said to her several times in her head. Despite getting into trouble, she didn't regret what she had done. Knowing she was capable of flustering Severus made her heart flutter strangely. She wouldn't say she found him attractive (at least by conventional standards), what with his wide black eyes, thin face, and abnormally large nose... but there was something endearing about his pedantic manner of speaking, his horrid fashion sense, and the tenderness he occasionally expressed when he allowed his guard to visibly dissolve.

It dawned on her that she hadn't needed to show off to gain his attention, that she had already done so simply by being herself. Lily didn't know what this meant, in terms of Severus fancying her or simply paying her a friendly compliment. Either way, she figured she had something the two older girls in the park did not: Severus cared about her for who she was and ultimately, that meant more than being admired for her looks.

In the soft glow of lamplight, she decided it wouldn't be all that bad if Severus fancied her – and perhaps she was beginning to feel more than friendship for him, too.

In fourth year, boys began to notice Lily Evans. They asked her on dates to Hogsmeade, Christmas parties, and spring formals. They flirted, and gave her cards on Valentine's Day, and passed notes to her in class that read: "Do you like me? Check yes or no." James Potter was the most insufferable of the lot. However, she was never reduced to beating any of them off with a broomstick because Severus did it for her, whether she wanted him to or not. Every time a boy expressed interest in her, Severus would miraculously turn up with some kind of dirt on them and when she demanded how he knew such rubbish, he said he supposed he had the kind of face people could trust.

Matters came to a head when Lily agreed to go on a date with Derek Atlas one Hogsmeade weekend. It was horrible. He made her pick up the tab on their food and drinks, walked far ahead of her instead of at her side, and didn't do nice things like holding doors and pulling back chairs. Perhaps she was being silly over such trivial things, but her parents had raised her to expect such etiquette from a young man. Upon confronting him, Atlas admitted that he'd asked Severus for advice on how to act around Lily in order to impress her. The little twit had advised Derek to not bother being chivalrous because Lily was a self-proclaimed feminist, and believed such things were dead.

When Lily returned to the school, Severus was lurking in the Entrance Hall.

"How did your _precious _date go?" he sneered.

Lily chucked her shoe at him.

"Keep your nose out of my business!" she shouted at him.

She stomped off, leaving him to rub his shoulder and sulk. They weren't on speaking terms for two weeks.

By the time summer rolled around, Lily was forced to give up. For all his sulking and bitterness, Severus never made any move to claim her as his own. There were no passionate declarations of his feelings for her, just heated arguments that increased the already mounting tension between the two. Lily supposed it wasn't entirely his fault. She could certainly make more of an effort to make her feelings known, but there was a part of her that dreaded what others would think.

As a friend, it was easy to disregard his unkempt hair, oily skin, crooked teeth, and the raw acne that marred his cheeks and forehead. Being romantically involved with him would mean other students passing judgment on why Lily, in her right mind, would feel inclined to go out with _Snivellus, _the oddball Slytherin with the surly disposition_._

Aside from his unhealthy preoccupation with her love life, Severus was hanging around Mulciber and Avery more than ever and the animosity between he and Potter was spiking to new levels.

All of the combined events were hurtling them towards an eventual downfall. Lily could sense it fast approaching, but it was easier to pretend nothing was wrong than acknowledge the cracks forming in she and Severus's once solid friendship. She could no longer ignore the reality of Severus's aspirations the day he called her a Mudblood. That single word froze her insides, as if an icy gust of wind had swept through her.

It was never Lily's intention to look back the night she said good-bye, but Severus proved to be far more persistent than she would've ever given him credit for. A month passed before she reluctantly agreed to meet with him on her front porch. Parting from him had been more difficult than she cared to admit. Most days, she puttered around the house in her pajamas, munching on crisps, and watching the telly.

Severus didn't look any better. His face was thinner, his hair disheveled, and there was a frenzied undertone to his words and gestures. Out there on her front porch, Lily and Severus were more honest with each other than they had been in years. They talked – _really _talked – about the problems in their relationship and what it would take to move forward. Their reconcilement was tentative, at best. Severus made many promises about what would be different when they returned to Hogwarts, but Lily didn't fully believe him until he began following up his words with actions. Only then did her shattered trust start to mend.

Now, here they were sitting across from one another in the library, like old times, and Severus was complimenting her _hair, _of all things! Worst of all, her face had the _nerve _to flush with heat, and her stomach performed one of those peculiar backflips that signaled trouble.

Lily twirled her quill between thumb and forefinger, glancing up from her textbook to find Severus hunched over his copy of _Advanced Potion-Making, _scribbling furiously in the margins.

"Won't you get in trouble for doing that?" she asked – and not for the first time.

"I can't help it if the writer of this textbook is a complete dolt," he replied matter-of-factly. "Honestly, I'm doing Professor Slughorn a favor."

Lily sighed. It was best to leave him alone. He would only dig his heels deeper if he felt like she was trying to lecture him, and that would certainly get them nowhere.

"Have you gotten your invitation to the Christmas party yet?" she casually inquired, feeling the need to make light conversation rather than being genuinely curious.

"No, but we don't really need it, do we?" He looked up from his textbook. "We're invited every year. It's more of a formality, at this point. You know Slughorn – he likes things fancy."

Lily nodded. They were quiet for a moment.

"You're still going with me, right?" he asked, not quite meeting her eyes.

Lily perked up. "Of course!" she said. "Why, do you have plans to go with someone else?"

Her tone was harmless – teasing, really – but she watched him more closely than she would have otherwise.

Severus snorted. "Don't be stupid," he replied in his own reassuring manner.

"Good," she smiled, almost flirtatiously. "I was beginning to feel jealous."

Severus looked at her in befuddled surprise, a dull flush mounting his sallow cheeks. Although he kept conversation to a minimum (on his side, at least), Lily noticed his arm bump against hers once or twice on their way out of the library.

They wandered to the Great Hall for dinner, where they were forced to part ways. As she made her way to the Gryffindor table, she glanced over her shoulder at her friend's retreating figure. They were so different – she and Severus. It was a wonder they were still friends, at all. She supposed it helped that they were both willing to fight for their friendship, imperfect as it was, and it was more than she could say for anyone else.

* * *

><p>"Hey Evans!" a familiar voice called from behind Lily as she studied before the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room.<p>

_Oh no, _she cringed, squeezing her eyes shut. _Potter. _

Of all the people she wanted to see at the moment, he was certainly the last; but seeing as they were in the same house, it was virtually impossible to avoid him. She hadn't spoken to Potter much since the M-word incident, but he wasn't easily deterred. Perhaps if she ignored him, he would go away.

"Oy, Evans!" he called again. "I know you can hear me!"

_If only I were deaf._

Perhaps if she closed her eyes, she would become invisible. No such luck.

"Bad luck, Prongs," she overheard Sirius Black sigh. "Like I've said before, this one is seriously mental."

A few nearby students chuckled.

James made a _tsking _sound. "She's been hanging round our favorite greasy git for too long, eh?"

"Who knows," Sirius began, "our dear Snivellus has an apt enough hand at Potions. D'you ever wonder if he might've slipped her something?"

"It's certainly a possibility," James agreed heartily. "I wouldn't put anything past that slime ball."

Lily whirled around to face them, eyes blazing and red hair fanning out like a flame. "That's enough!" she exclaimed furiously.

Sirius suppressed a grin, whereas James simply raised his brows in mild awe and rumpled his black hair. "All right there, Evans?" he asked coolly.

"Stop it!" she said through gritted teeth. "I know what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work."

"On the contrary," he mused, stepping forward. "If my plan had failed, then you wouldn't be talking to me right now."

"Prongs is right," Sirius piped, stepping on the opposite side of her plump armchair. "Perhaps you don't hate us as much as you let on."

"Doubt it," Lily muttered, training her eyes on the book in her lap.

James moved in front of Lily's chair, blocking the fire. The moment he stepped near her, a strong, indeterminable scent hit her in the face like a stone wall. She glanced up at him with a jolt.

"Ah, I see you've noticed my new cologne," he said with his usual smugness, having mistaken her look of shock for one of awe. "I made it myself, actually. I found the recipe in an old library book. Supposedly, it makes whoever wearing it completely irresistible."

Lily sniffed the air. "Hmm, smells like grim defeat to me."

Sirius, along with several other students, roared with laughter at the stricken expression on James's face.

"_Padfoot!" _James growled, glaring at his best friend.

"Sorry, mate," Sirius wiped a tear from his eye, "but Evans is right. You smell like a skunk."

"Padfoot, do you mind?" James huffed.

Sirius lifted his hands in surrender and backed away from the pair. James rumpled his hair again, though somewhat nervously this time.

"Sorry about him," he jerked his head toward Sirius. "He can be a real pain sometimes."

"I suppose that makes two of you," she replied coldly.

She tucked her feet beneath her body and lowered her eyes once more to her book, but it was difficult to read with James standing there, gawking at her.

James cleared his throat. "So, Lily," he began, a small tremor in his voice. "I was thinking we could go to Hogsmeade together this weekend, and have a Butterbeer or two. My treat."

He flashed a winning smile.

"Hogsmeade? This Saturday? Hmm," she tapped her chin thoughtfully, her mind racing to whip up a legitimate excuse. "I… can't. I'm already going with someone else."

"Who?" James demanded.

"Er," she paused. "Severus. Yes, I'm going to Hogsmeade with Severus."

It was a lie, but it really wasn't such a bad idea. She should ask him the next time she saw him.

"_Snivellus?!" _James exclaimed incredulously. "Why on earth would you do such a thing?"

Lily shrugged and crossed her arms. "I would rather go with him than you. And I would appreciate it if you didn't call him Snivellus. He has a proper name, you know."

Two spots of color appeared on his face.

"What about the weekend after, then?" he asked, causing Lily to wonder how much longer he could sustain the chase.

"I can't then, either," she said. "I'm going to Slughorn's party with Severus. Besides, I haven't forgiven you for what you did last June, so I doubt I'll be going anywhere with you, whether I'm free to or not. You might as well take the hint."

James scowled and ran a hand through his hair for a third time, yet it seemed to her as if he were tempted to rip his hair clean out.

"Fine," he nodded, jaw clenched. "Fine, I get it. You hate me."

"I don't hate you," Lily shook her head. "I just think you're an irksome little berk, is all. You would be all right if you didn't try so hard to show off with that stupid Snitch and didn't hex people, simply because you can. We've been over this before, Potter. This should be old news by now."

"But what about Snivel – I mean, Snape? He calls you a-a _you-know-what_ and gets off the hook scot-free, whereas I end up being the bad guy for having a bit of fun? That's not exactly fair, Evans," he threw his hands in the air exasperatedly.

Lily leaned forward in her chain and squared her jaw.

"That," she said, "is none of your business. Besides, if you call bullying another student 'a bit of fun', we obviously are on completely different pages. I'm not interested, Potter. End of story."

James chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully.

"Say if we somehow ended up on the same page," James proposed. "Would you consider going out with me then?"

Lily looked up at his hopeful, eager face. It honestly put a damper on things to always shoot him down like this. Even if he was an arrogant, bullying toerag, he had _some _redeeming qualities. She was certain that if he matured a bit, he would be rather pleasant. There were moments she felt so exhausted by his endless prodding that she was tempted to go out with him, simply to appease him. However, Lily knew that as long as she was friends with Severus, she could never be friends with James. Acquaintances, perhaps – but nothing more. Severus would view it as an ultimate betrayal of his trust, in much the same way she felt about him calling her a Mudblood. Lily hoped she could eventually convince Severus to come to a truce with Potter. His hatred and bitterness wasn't healthy.

"I would go out with the Giant Squid before ever agreeing to date you," she replied with finality, staring him directly in the eye.

James stroked his chin. "That can be arranged," he said distantly, as though the wheels in his mind were turning.

Lily snapped her book shut, bid him good-night, and marched up to the girl's dormitory.

* * *

><p>Mulciber and Avery noticed a new spring in Severus's step when he entered the sixth-year Slytherin dormitory.<p>

"All right, Snape?" Avery called from his four-poster. "You're acting a bit off."

"Yeah," Mulciber agreed smoothly, "you practically twirled in here like a ballerina."

Severus dropped his bag onto his bed and pulled out his textbooks, promptly ignoring them. Nothing they said was going to bring him down. Earlier that day, Severus had mustered the courage to compliment Lily, like the book had told him to do, and he couldn't be one-hundred percent sure, but he had an inkling she might've flirted with him a bit. It was difficult to pinpoint _why _he felt that way; it was in the way her eyes glittered and lips softened that gave her an almost… _sultry _look. Severus had even dared to walk more closely to her than he would normally, causing his arm to brush against her shoulder several times – and the best part was, she hadn't pulled away.

Avery jumped up from his bed and approached Severus with his hands in the pockets of his school robes. He cleared his throat.

"Listen, Snape," he began, business-like, "there's going to be a meeting tonight in that abandoned classroom on the fourth floor. Mulciber, Rosier, Wilkes, and I are going to be there. Can we count on you to be there, as well?"

Avery's blue eyes were cold and piercing. His back was straight, his shoulders squared, and his chin lifted proudly, as if to challenge him. Severus's heart hammered as he turned to face the boy. Since school started, there hadn't been a major confrontation between him and his Slytherin dorm mates over his change in post-Hogwarts plans. It was unwise to stir up trouble, as he shared all his classes and a dorm with them. If anything, Severus was a survivor and preferred strategy over self-righteous indignation, which was Lily's forte. Severus would ease himself, little by little, out of the world he'd once so longed to be a part of someday, until he no longer had to deal with it.

"Can't," Severus replied shortly. "I'm loaded down with homework tonight."

"That's what you said the last time," Avery sneered. "You're chickening out, aren't you? You don't have what it takes to become a Death Eater. You might as well admit it, Snape. You're not fooling anyone."

"That filthy little Mudblood has got you on a pretty tight leash, yeah?" Mulciber chipped in. "Say, once you're done with her, can I have a turn?"

Severus paled considerably.

"Shut your foul mouth!" he snarled, spit flying from his lips.

Mulciber smirked, satisfied with the reaction he was able to elicit.

"Touch-y," Avery clucked. "Didn't know you were such a little Mudblood-lover. You're a disgrace to this house, you know that? You make me _sick._"

Avery glared at him fiercely before striding out of the room. Mulciber hopped off of his bed to follow him.

"You wouldn't mind writing my essay on goblin rebellions for History of Magic, would you?" he said. "It's due tomorrow. If it's not done by morning, you're little red-haired friend will get it. See ya, Snivellus."

Severus's face felt hot and his nails were making impressions in his skin from how tightly he clenched his fists. _So much for avoiding confrontation, _he thought bitterly. _No matter. I will exact my own brand of revenge._


	4. Wiggenweld

_**Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches **_

* * *

><p>The following morning, Severus left breakfast early to be the first to arrive to History of Magic. He wanted to turn in Mulciber's essay before his Slytherin housemate had a sudden inkling to skim it over. It was highly unlikely, as Severus had been doing Mulciber's homework for years, but he still felt the need to take precautions. To say Severus had rewritten history would be an understatement. Luckily, Professor Binns never paid a lot of attention to his students, so he wouldn't notice that two separate essays were completed in the same handwriting. After six years, he still couldn't even remember Severus's name.<p>

Just as he was turning in the two essays, Professor Binns glided through the chalkboard. He peered at Severus with his small, dull, see-through eyes.

"Good morning, Sally," he greeted in a dry, reedy voice.

Severus bristled and took his seat at the front of the classroom. Avery, Mulciber, Rosier, and Wilkes entered shortly before the class bell rang, taking their seats near the back. Severus caught Mulciber's eye and gestured toward their teacher's desk with a nod of his head, indicating that his essay had been taken care of. Mulciber's eyes squinted in understanding, looking rather smug with his upturned nose and sneering mouth. History of Magic was as boring as ever: students drooled on their open textbooks, stared blankly off into space, and snored softly, as Professor Binns droned endlessly.

Next, Severus had Transfiguration. They spent the duration of class learning how to change the color of their eyebrows. He managed to change his heavy black ones to a putrid green. Some students experienced difficulty in changing them back to their original color (he spotted several blue uni-brows throughout the day). Severus spent the duration of lunch in the library reading chapter three of _Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches, _entitled: '_It Pays to Pay Attention'. _

"_Once you have managed to approach your dream witch, always remember this: it pays to pay attention. When she is talking, listen attentively and strive to understand what she is communicating. Don't get lost in staring at her mouth and imagining what it would be like to kiss her. It's important for a girl to feel like a boy is genuinely interested in what she thinks and feels. If she feels as though your mind is wandering from the conversation, she may lose respect for you and may hesitate to confide in you in the future. If possible, find a way to demonstrate your interest and keen listening skills through repetition or practical application. For example, if she mentions that her favorite flowers are tulips, surprise her with a fresh bouquet of sweet-smelling tulips. It's a guarantee your dream witch will be flattered and impressed."_

Once the bell that signaled the end of lunch tolled, Severus gathered his belongings and headed to the dungeons for double Potions. The instructions for the day were written in cursive on the chalkboard: _Turn to page 126, _it read. _Silently read chapter five for thirty minutes. Answer discussion questions at end of section._ Three poorly drawn Cupids zoomed across the board, shooting arrows at unsuspecting stick figures. He understood why when he flipped to the instructed page, which outlined the history and usage of the strongest love potion known to wizard-kind: Amortentia. Professor Slughorn had introduced it at the beginning of term, along with Felix Felicis, the Draught of Living Death, and Veritaserum. At the end of the year, each student was expected to brew a potion of their choice. Most students, namely girls, chose Amortentia (for obvious reasons) and almost always switched projects before the deadline, unpleasantly surprised by the potion's complex and time-consuming nature.

Severus couldn't understand why someone would feel inclined to brew such a pointless potion, in the first place. There was no satisfaction in creating something with no practical use, unless… He rubbed his thin mouth thoughtfully, the image of a love-crazed Potter flashing through his mind. _Who could Potter fall in love with? _He tapped his chin. _Hagrid?_

When Lily arrived to class a moment later, she noticed Severus's red face and shaking shoulders. She slung her bag on their table.

"What's so funny?" she prodded, perching herself on the stool beside his.

He shook his head, unable to speak.

"Nothing," he mumbled, coughed, and schooled his features into what he hoped was a calm expression.

Neither of them had a chance to greet each other properly, for Professor Slughorn ambled into class, at that moment.

"Good afternoon!" he called as he maneuvered his way to the front, his round belly grazing the many rows of desks. "I trust all of you have had a productive week. Now, as you can see on the board, I've instructed for you all to read the chapter on Amortentia. I'd like you to take careful notes in preparation for a paper due next week. I'd like you to focus on the potential dangers of Amortentia, past cases in which it was abused, and whether or not you believe it should be available to the masses. Now, quiet down while I take roll."

The chatter faded to a dull roar, as students began shuffling pages and rummaging through their bags. It annoyed Severus when people persisted to talk when they had been told not to. Honestly, it wasn't that difficult to keep your mouth shut. If he was a professor, he wouldn't need to tell anyone to be quiet - they would know simply by his presence. _Speak and be poisoned, _would be a fitting motto.

He began to silently read, until Lily nudged him with her elbow.

"May I help you?" he inquired in a low voice, lifting a brow.

"Take out your book," she whispered, gesturing to the leather one nestled in her lap.

He dug through his bag and retrieved one identical to Lily's. It had been a gift from her for his sixteenth birthday. He flipped the book open to a random page, and Lily scribbled frantically. After a moment, her delicate handwriting appeared on the page before him.

_I never tire of this mode of communication, especially when Slughorn assigns drab reading material I already know like the back of my hand._

He smirked and penned a response.

_Feeling high and mighty today, are we?_

Lily's reply was almost immediate.

_That's rich coming from you. Guess who paid me a visit last night?_

Severus stole a quick glance over his shoulder at Potter, narrowing his eyes.

_Potter, _he wrote tersely. _What does he want?_

_He asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him, can you believe it? After everything he's done over the years… Oh, you should have been there – I really gave him a verbal lashing. You would've been proud. _

Severus brightened at the thought of Lily insulting James Potter. He hated that the two of them shared the same classes and were in the same House. It was obvious that Potter fancied Lily, and it seemed only a matter of time before she surrendered to his endless nagging. Severus wanted Lily to see the bespectacled git for what he really was – not the Big Quidditch Hero everyone melted over, including Professor Dumbledore, who had never failed to favor the Marauders in the past.

_I'm always proud when you willingly insult someone, _he wrote_. You must be growing susceptible to my influence._

_Perhaps… Something good came from our little chat, despite him being an irksome berk. He gave me a brilliant idea._

_What?_ He wrote immediately.

_That you and I should go to Hogsmeade together this weekend. What do you say?_

_Potter gave you this idea?_

_Yes._

_Are you absolutely certain?_

_YES! Now answer me. _

_How is this possible?_

_I have found that I can be very persuasive. Don't question my authority, Severus. _

_As a matter of fact, I _highly _question your authority. You fail to persuade me otherwise. Now tell me what really happened. _

_Oh fine. You're such a wet blanket, Sev. When James asked me out, I lied and said I was going to Hogsmeade with you. I didn't realize how good of an idea it was, until the words had left my mouth. _

Lily wondered if she had been too forward, but Severus couldn't be more thrilled.

_Wow, lying _and _insulting? I can die a happy man now, Lily. _

_You're making me blush! I am truly indebted to you for all you have taught me. Perhaps we can rob Gringotts next? After Hogsmeade, of course. _

_Will I get to flaunt you in front of Potter? _

Lily shot him a curious glance.

_He fancies you, _Severus penned by way of explanation. _It's not every day I get to rub famous Potter's nose in the smell of grim defeat._

_Try smelling his new cologne, _Lily grinned wryly. _It's positively foul. _

_Is _that_ what I smell? Potter's cologne? I thought it was burnt rubber. Oh no, Slughorn's eyeballing us…_

Professor Slughorn had finished taking attendance and was beaming down at them.

"My star pupils!" he exclaimed proudly. "You two have been scribbling away since the beginning of class. I'm eager to read what both of you have cooked up!"

He turned to their peers.

"You all could take a leaf out of their books!" he lightly reprimanded.

Potter, Black, Avery, and Mulciber glared at them from their stations. Severus and Lily grinned at each other: hers was impishly vibrant, whereas his was crooked and unpracticed, as though he normally considered smiling to be a strange behavior.

_That was close, _Lily wrote, dramatically wiping imaginary sweat from her brow.

_As if we would ever get in trouble, _Severus scoffed. _You heard him: we're star pupils. Or at least you are. I'm merely the tag-along._

_Professor Slughorn thinks you're brilliant. Don't tell yourself otherwise._

_Even if that may be true, he doesn't think I'm going anywhere. That's why he keeps my picture at the back of his collection. Perhaps he's right. I don't seem to have much of a future planned._

Lily noticed the tense, downcast nature of his lips.

_That's normal, Sev! Most people pretend they have it all figured out, when they really don't. You'll find your way—I have faith in that._

_Do you, now? _

Lily didn't need to hear his voice to pick up on his sardonic tone.

_Yes, _she challenged. _When have I _not _been your biggest advocate?_

_Never said you weren't. Just seems like you're the only one._

Lily hesitated. She chewed her thumbnail, contemplating a response.

_You never answered my question. Would you like to accompany me to Hogsmeade this weekend?_

_You mean: would I like to subject myself to yet another mindless frolicking through the village? I suppose, seeing as I have nothing better to do._

_There's a good lad, _she grinned.

After the class had finished taking notes on their assigned reading, Professor Slughorn asked them to light their cauldrons and retrieve ingredients for the Wiggenweld Potion.

"You know," Lily began, as she added salamander blood to their cauldron, "according to legend, a prince used this potion to awaken a princess under the effects of the Draught of Living Death. He applied a bit of it to his lips and when he kissed the sleeping girl, it transferred to her. Muggles use this concept frequently in fairy tales, even though the original source is lost to them."

"Where did you hear this?" Severus asked with interest.

"Muggle Studies," she replied simply, adding more salamander blood to their orange concoction.

Severus glanced over his shoulder. A few stations back, James Potter was scratching his head, furrowing his brow as he scanned his textbook. Sirius Black was rocking back and forth on the hind legs of his stool. He caught Severus watching and pulled an unattractive face at him. He nudged his partner, prompting James to glance up from his notes and over at he and Lily.

Severus quickly averted his gaze, catching sight of Mulciber and Avery on the other side of the room. Their heads were bent and they were whispering to each other, casting furtive glances in Severus's direction. He watched their station carefully, wanting his timing to be perfect. So far, he had managed to exact revenge on Mulciber, leaving Avery as his next target. At some point during class, Mulciber excused himself to the loo and Avery stood in line to receive flobberworm mucus from Professor Slughorn.

He left Lily to stir, under the guise of retrieving additional ingredients from the student cupboard. He made a show of rifling through the cupboard, examining an array of labeled tubes and jars before settling on a handful of nettles. Luckily, Mulciber's and Avery's station was in a back corner of the classroom, so it made his chances of getting caught less likely. Glancing both ways to make sure his next actions would go unnoticed, he tossed the nettles into their potion and strode away.

"Are you all right?" Lily asked, peering at Severus closely. "You look a bit sweaty."

"I'm fine," he said rather breathlessly.

A moment later, there were squeals and shrieks coming from the opposite side of the classroom. Lily turned around and gasped. Severus looked over his shoulder, feigning boredom. Avery's and Mulciber's potion had burnt a hole through their cauldron. Acid green liquid was streaming to the floor in torrents, hissing and bubbling as it went. People snatched their bags from the ground and leapt on top of their stools to avoid burning holes in their shoes. Avery was gaping at his collapsed cauldron with a mixture of horror, shock, and utter confusion. Professor Slughorn cleared away the failed concoction with a wave of his wand and glared disapprovingly at a slack-jawed Avery.

"Tut, tut," he said. "You and Mr. Mulciber will have to repeat this assignment at a mutually agreed upon date. You'll have to come in during your free-time, unfortunately. It pays to keep track of things, eh?"

* * *

><p>Professor Slughorn pulled Lily and Severus aside, once class had been dismissed. He handed each of them a crisp envelope with an official-looking wax seal and elbowed Severus's ribs knowingly, his walrus-like mustache twitching merrily.<p>

"D'you reckon this year's party will be any different?" Lily suggested, as the pair trudged their way up to the entrance hall.

"Knowing Slughorn, I find it likely food will be involved," he replied, glancing at her sidelong.

"Wouldn't it be brilliant if he planned something adventurous for a change?" she mused, her bright eyes gleaming as she clutched an armful of books to her chest. "Say, for instance, a scavenger hunt in the Forbidden Forest, with the moonlight as our only guide?"

Severus snorted. "Slughorn would never risk his neck by venturing through the forest at night. If some frightening creature, like a vampire or werewolf attacked, his fat legs wouldn't be able to carry him far."

Lily's hair fanned out, as she snapped her head to deliver a burning glare.

"That's a horrible thing to say, Severus!" she exclaimed. "Professor Slughorn would be fully capable of defending himself in any given situation – he is a very powerful and knowledgeable wizard. Honestly, Sev, you shock me with the things you say sometimes."

Severus winced. His guilt quickly turned to anger. "Lighten up," he said, "I was just trying to have a laugh."

"Yes, at the expense of another person," she replied in a reprimanding tone.

She glanced up at him: a crease had appeared between his brows and a muscle in his jaw quivered. He was torn between dropping the subject and defending himself. He honestly didn't want to argue with her, but sometimes he thought she cared about other people's feelings a little _too _much. He found this aspect of her personality fascinating yet also incredibly frustrating, at times.

_Remember what the book said, _he muttered inwardly. _Don't muck this up._

"Anyway," Severus cleared his throat, prompting her head to turn, "Avery and Mulciber had a little chat with me last night."

Lily stopped abruptly. Her forehead creased with worry. "What happened?"

He stared past her left shoulder, not wanting her to know how much of a problem his housemates were becoming.

"Nothing much," he answered coolly. He lowered his voice. "They've figured out that I don't intend to join You-Know-Who. I'm sure they've suspected it since the start of term. Just promise to keep away from them, alright?"

Lily's green eyes narrowed in realization. "That was _you _who caused Avery's cauldron to melt, wasn't it?"

Severus avoided eye contact, rubbing the side of his nose.

"Sev!" Lily cried exasperatedly. "You're going to get yourself into a lot of trouble with that lot, you know."

"I can defend myself!" Severus drew himself up to his full height, pressing his mouth into a firm, stubborn line. "Most of what they know about Dark Magic they learned from me, so I'd say I have the better end of the stick, wouldn't you?."

"You're not still reading up on Dark Magic, are you?" she eyed him pointedly.

He hesitated on the verge of speech. For a moment, he was tempted to lie. He ran a pale, spidery hand through his lank hair.

"Well – yes," he admitted, a nervous tremor in his voice.

Lily opened her mouth to protest.

'Hear me out, first," he interrupted, lifting a hand. "I remember what our agreement was – but the Dark Arts have always been a passion of mine, since I was very young. Nothing could stamp out my interest in it. It's as much a part of me as being a wizard is."

He wracked his mind for an explanation that would quell the formidable expression on Lily's face.

"R-remember what you once said about what truly defines a Dark wizard?" he stammered. "You said that a perfectly harmless spell could be used to harm another person and alternately, a dark curse has the potential to save them. It all boils down to our intentions and the way we choose to use magic. I continue to study the Dark Arts because I'm not naïve about what happens outside these walls. Evil will always find a way to crop up in the world. What better way to defeat the enemy than to use their own weapons against them? I can channel my passion into helping others, and protecting those who I love."

Lily tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "You remember that?" she asked, sounding pleased.

"You seem surprised," he observed lightly, crossing his arms. "I happen to remember a lot of things."

A corner of Lily's mouth quirked and her eyes narrowed in a way that suggested she knew something he didn't. He swallowed.

"I'm happy to know my lecturing got through that thick skull of yours," she teased. The glimmer in her eyes quickly faded, as a note of worry took over. "It's _still _Dark Magic, though. I'm afraid this is just some excuse for you to continue doing what you were before. Look, it's your choice. I can't tell you what to do or how to feel. Just know that I'm putting my faith in you."

Lily grasped his limp hand in hers, giving his fingers a small squeeze. His black eyes searched her face, his expression softening into something completely un-Severus. His thumb inadvertently brushed across the back of her hand, causing a strange, electric warmth to rise to the surface of her skin. His hand was surprisingly warm and the pad of his thumb was slightly rough against her smooth skin. Lily panicked and yanked her hand away, dropping her books in the process.

"Sorry," her face flushed with heat, as they both crouched to gather her books.

"S'okay," he mumbled from behind his curtain of hair.

Once she had collected all of her books, they stood and faced one another. Severus pretended to fiddle with something on his bag to avoid looking at her.

"Well, I'm off to class," he announced suddenly, and he strode away before she had a chance to say another word.

* * *

><p><em>AN: The Wiggenweld Potion is not my original idea. It belongs to J.K. Rowling, like everything else. I researched the recipe and history on the Harry Potter Wiki page. It has been quite helpful in writing parts of this story, as I'm not particularly imaginative when it comes to magic-related things. I'm convinced that JKR has more imagination in her pinky toe than I have in my entire body. Thanks for reading!_


	5. Lemon Drops

_**Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches **_

Severus had contemplated skipping his little chat with Dumbledore, but somehow he found himself facing the old man in his office, a desk between them, and a pair of blue eyes piercing his own. Severus shifted uncomfortably in his seat, wearing only a pair of graying socks and Lily's bathrobe; and to top it off, the Headmaster's office was rather drafty. By the time he'd left the hospital wing, the hour was late and there was little time to change. In some ways, he was glad to have an excuse to avoid his housemates; he was sure he'd be hearing renditions of '_Nakey Snapey!' _for the rest of the school year.

"Severus," Dumbledore said, looking serious, "this is the fourth time you've managed to pay me a visit these past few months, and none of them have been under good circumstances."

Severus began to sweat a little.

"It all began with the prank involving you and Remus Lupin," he continued. "Next was the O.W.L's incident, and then of your… visitations... Now this."

Severus expected him to continue, but instead he removed his spectacles and pinched the bridge of his crooked nose, as if it relieved his stress greatly.

It seemed as though Dumbledore blamed him for all the mishaps that had occurred over the last year; he hardly dared believe it.

"No offense, Professor," Severus began stiffly, "but I feel inclined to point out that I'm not the only one at fault here."

"Of course not," the old man shockingly agreed, readjusting his spectacles. "You certainly have played your part, but others have as well. However, that's not why I asked you here tonight."

Dumbledore stood from his chair and circled around his desk to face the window, hands clasped behind his back. The night sky was visible through the tall window.

"What might the reason be, sir?" Severus asked, his eyes trained on the Headmaster's back in a mixture of curiosity and dread. A number of possibilities swirled in his mind.

A phoenix stood on its perch near the window, basking in the radiant moonlight. Dumbledore stroked its head affectionately.

"Remember when you came to me last?" he asked, turning slowly to face the sallow, stringy young man. "You spoke of a letter you had received a few days prior to the incident by the lake. It described the incident in question, in startling detail, as though it were a premonition of sorts."

Severus sat in silence for a long moment."I remember," he replied stoically, "although it wasn't a letter. It was a conversation of sorts."

"Ah, yes," the old man softly exclaimed. "I remember more clearly now. It was through that diary of yours, wasn't it?"

His wise, old eyes were keen on Severus, as if he were etching every moment deep into his memory.

"It's not a diary," he corrected. "It may appear as one, but I use it as a means for communication. The only other person I know of who uses the same device is Lily Evans; although, the handwriting didn't belong to her."

"Are you positive?" Dumbledore pressed, insistent yet gentle.

"Of course," he replied unwaveringly. "I've known her for years. I would've recognized her handwriting instantly if it had been her."

Severus thought a minute, strategizing his next move, debating on how much to reveal to the Headmaster. He remembered that time clearly: the school year was nearly over and Lily was beginning to slip through his fingers like sand. Her friends disapproved of him and the same could be said for his about her; as a result, they were spending less and less time together. He had spent many nights opening and closing the book that linked to hers, leafing through the pages, and wondering if she would reply if he wrote to her. One night, he caved in to the desire to see her, to talk with her alone.

_Up for a late night meeting? _He had written nervously, his heart drumming in his throat.

The words that appeared on the page in response hadn't belonged to Lily.

_Perhaps that isn't such a good idea, _it read.

_Who is this? _He had scribbled.

At the time, he assumed it was one of Lily's little Gryffindor friends and the thought of his private conversations with her being intercepted made him furious.

_Never mind that, _the stranger had replied. _May I have a word? I wish to convey a message. You may feel as though you'll go mad if you don't speak to her this instant, but I advise you to exercise caution. She can smell you're up to no good; she knows you've been keeping secrets. It would be in your best interest to avoid her over the next few days, in case you lose control. _

_What rubbish! _Severus had replied snidely. _I'll do as I please, thank you. You may not approve of my friendship with Lily but to be quite frank, it's none of your bloody business. _

Afterward, he had left the dungeons and made his way for Gryffindor Tower. He had run into a friend of Lily's, and asked her to let her know he wished to speak with her. A few moments later, Lily had appeared in her nightgown. She had agreed to see him, but now he wished she hadn't. That night had been the prelude to their falling out. Whoever had warned him had done so for good reason but by the time Severus began to listen, it was too late.

His silent reverie was broken by the weight of Dumbledore's gaze upon his skin.

"Why is this important _now_? You've asked these questions before." He regarded the old man suspiciously.

Dumbledore stepped forward, and suddenly his presence filled the room to the brim, commanding all attention.

"There was a prophecy," he stated. "I need you to relay the details of it once more."

"Why?" Severus asked, befuddled.

"For… safekeeping," Dumbledore replied vaguely.

"The details are the same as before," Severus said. "The prophecy spoke of a boy born at the end of July to a man and woman who had defied the Dark Lord three times. Supposedly, this child would one day overthrow the Dark Lord himself. The prophecy was interpreted to mean James Potter's son, a boy called Harry."

"Lily and James Potter," Dumbledore mused, his eyes glittering in a way that unnerved Severus. "I suppose the idea of them marrying isn't completely far-fetched."

Severus ignored this particular comment. "The Potters were notified of the Dark Lord's intentions, and they went into hiding. Sirius Black was the only one, aside from you, who knew of their hiding place and he ultimately betrayed them. James and… Lily were killed, but the boy was unable to be harmed. The Dark Lord was destroyed upon his attempt to kill the boy. I don't know why. That is all I know, sir."

Dumbledore was pacing now. "Sirius Black, you say?" he murmured, apparently trying to piece together the information Severus had just relayed with what he already knew to be true.

"That is correct, sir."

"Are you quite certain?"

"That is what I was told," Severus exhaled impatiently. "It's not wholly far-fetched, is it? He tried to kill me once."

Dumbledore glared at him in disapproval. "Sirius Black has indeed acted very foolish in the past, but I find the notion of him betraying his closest friend to be entirely ridiculous. It makes me question the source of your information."

"If Black had been sorted into Slytherin like the rest of his family, would you be as keen to defend him as you are now, _sir_?" Severus spat before he could contain himself.

"What are you insinuating, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, his robe billowing as he moved to take his seat at his desk. He was calm; too calm.

"Nothing," he said tersely, feeling his color rise. "Just that you seem to favor certain students is all – especially when they belong to the same house as you."

"Really?" Dumbledore mused with a smile. "How so, may I ask?"

Severus looked at the old man as if he'd recently grown a second head. Was he even listening? Perhaps he hoped his reaction, or lack thereof, would diffuse his rising temper, but it was proving to have the opposite effect.

"First of all, Sirius Black _did _try to kill me!" he shouted. "Potter was in on it, too. If he hadn't known what Black was up to, hadn't been in on the plan, then how could he have known where I was? How could he have been there to 'save me' at such an opportune moment?"

Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak, but Severus cut across him.

"All you gave Black was a slap on the hand, while Potter received special recognition for his heroic acts," he sneered. "Everyone thought Potter was some kind of hero, even Lily. I couldn't tell her the truth since you had sworn me to secrecy. And then last June, Potter and Black attacked me for no reason whatsoever – and no one tried to stop them, not even Lupin who _you _appointed as prefect! Everyone stood around and cheered while I was humiliated and, in the end, I was the one at fault for accidentally calling Lily a Mudblood. No matter what I do, I always end up being the creep, the loser, the nobody – whereas Potter and Black are idolized by everyone for being complete dolts. The worst part is, _you _don't even care what they do to me because you're too busy fawning over them like everyone else. You're the one who should be interfering on my behalf! Isn't that your job?"

It wasn't until he'd finished his verbal tirade that he realized he was standing in front of Dumbledore's desk with his chair knocked aside, his chest heaving, his face an ugly red-brick color, and wearing a girl's bathrobe. Dumbledore twiddled his thumbs and grinned at him, as though he were thoroughly entertained by the sight. He stood as well, so that he was able to meet Severus's eye head-on.

"My job is to protect the students of Hogwarts, yes," he said smoothly, his silver beard glistening in the dim light. "My job is also to guide each student, to make sure they know the difference between right and wrong and that they make the right decisions. Is this always possible? No. Do I feel personally responsible when a student leaves this school headed down a dark path? Yes. My job is to recognize what each student must learn – not about magic, mind you – but about their personal strengths, weaknesses, and above all: what internal battles they must overcome in order to lead fulfilling lives. James Potter and Sirius Black have caused much trouble since their time at Hogwarts, and you are no exception. You were planning on joining the ranks of Voldemort, were you not? You were willing to risk your friendship with Lily Evans, a Muggle-born, all for the sake of power. I feared for you for some time, Severus and I'm delighted to see you making better decisions for your future. Perhaps it has been my mistake, but I never interfered in the feud between you and James because I wanted each of you to learn an invaluable life lesson. For James, I hoped he'd see the damaging effects his behavior had on others while, for you, I hoped you saw the same and recognize those bullying qualities in Voldemort himself. I thought if you knew what it was like to be controlled in such a way, you would ultimately be repelled by the notion of pureblood supremacy. I attempted to control James's and Sirius's behavior by appointing Remus Lupin as prefect; if they were going to listen to anyone, it would be the opinion of one of their closest friends. In the process, I hoped Remus would find the courage to stand up for what was right, even if it was at the expense of his friends. He hasn't performed his role as well as I'd liked, but I know he'll eventually rise to the challenge."

Severus stared at him, stricken. "You've _never _liked me!" he protested. "You've always been out to get me."

"I was disappointed in the path you had chosen for yourself, but I never disliked you," said Dumbledore. "Imagine how I must've felt, seeing such a keenly intelligent and talented young wizard wasting his life on hate and a thirst for vengeance. One must not underestimate your strength of mind and will, Severus – especially you. From what I've overheard of your encounters with James, you don't give up without a fight."

There was a strange note of admiration in Dumbledore's voice.

"Even when it was you against four others, you never backed down. You are brave, my boy. Very brave, indeed. I believe it is your greatest strength, even more so since your friendship with Lily has been rekindled. It must have been a hard choice to make, considering your former taste in friends would disapprove of such an alliance. You've made sacrifices and shown a kind of loyalty unbecoming of a Slytherin; in fact, it has strengthened my belief that sometimes we sort too soon."

Severus felt completely overwhelmed by the power of Dumbledore's speech; it gave him a new appreciation for him, even though he was reluctant to acknowledge it.

"Sir, am I in trouble for what happened today?"

"No, I don't see why. Should you be in trouble?" His blue eyes twinkled over the rim of his half-moon spectacles.

"In all fairness, I was the one who started the fight," Severus admitted. "He called me a coward, and I hexed him in response."

"What the devil were you two fighting over, anyway?" Dumbledore inquired.

"It's a long story," Severus replied wearily.

"It so happens I'm rather fond of long stories," Dumbledore said, sitting down. He looked at Severus expectantly. "Go on," he prodded. "I might as well hear your side of the story."

Severus picked up his fallen chair and sat down as well. One of the things he could learn was to control his temper, he thought. He sat down across from Dumbledore.

"I know a lot about the Dark Arts and obscure spells and potions," he began. "A lot of blokes in Slytherin come to me for information, as a result. I used to tell Rosier about all kinds of stuff when we were friends. I never told him I no longer considered him a friend, or that I no longer wished to become a Death Eater. I tried to distance myself discreetly. It wasn't until a month or so ago when he realized what I was doing. Things grew worse when I added an ingredient to his potion after he insulted Lily, causing his cauldron to explode."

"So that _was _you," Dumbledore interjected merrily.

"Rosier suspected me as well, despite my efforts to convince him otherwise, "Severus continued. "He threatened to hurt me or Lily if I didn't leave him alone in the future. Today, he confronted me in the library after I gave him some misleading information about a potion that is supposed to, ah, endow less fortunate men with, uh, you know."

"Such a potion exists?"

"Yes, but I tampered with the directions I gave him so it had the opposite effect. I gave it to him a long time ago, and had forgotten about it completely until today. Not only did it have a, uh, shrinking effect but it also caused him to lose his hair. Essentially, I gave him directions to brew an Aging Potion."

"I happened to notice," Dumbledore commented. "He had a lot of hair stuck to his robe. At first, I thought it belonged to a cat. Why would he use such a potion if it had come from you?"

"I gave it to several blokes, including him," he replied. "He might've thought no harm would come from it if I'd given it to others as well, seeing as how my main problem is with him. He may also not be aware that I'm skilled at altering potions, as well as concocting them."

Dumbledore's nose was shriveled in disgust; it was apparent he thought Severus's warfare tactics were tasteless. The look was fleeting and was once again replaced with mild curiosity.

"I've noticed you and Lily Evans have been spending a considerable amount of time together these past months. Are you two – ?"

"No!" Severus exclaimed, his color rising again. "We-we're friends. Just friends."

"Forgive me," he said, "I didn't mean to pry. This insatiable curiosity is born of old age and boredom, I'm afraid. Would you care for a lemon drop?"

Severus blinked. "What?"

"Would you care for a lemon drop?" Dumbledore repeated, waving a hand over a jar on his desk filled to the brim with yellow candies. "I am rather fond of them. I grew quite addicted to them at first, but was forced to break the habit as they gave me the most terrible canker sores."

Severus regarded the jar of lemon candies warily. "I think I'm good," he said, as Dumbledore plopped one in his own mouth. He reclined in his chair and suckled on it, blue eyes glazed.

"Is that all, sir?" Severus asked, uncomfortable in his current garb and of the sudden turn in conversation.

"Not quite," the old man replied. "I am curious – have you been contacted since the incident last June? Have they revealed anything further to you?"

_Yes. _Severus hesitated. "No," he lied, stony-faced.

There were many things he knew, but didn't wish to divulge for personal reasons. He sensed Dumbledore knew he was hiding something. They sat in silence for a long moment; Dumbledore peered into the young Slytherin's face, apparently searching for more than his answer provided.

"Very well," Dumbledore said at long last. "If you wish to tell me something, anything at all, I invite you to do so. This matter is of utmost importance to me. If you will permit it, I'd like to borrow your diary to examine it for myself. You may go now, Severus."

Severus nodded curtly and stood. As he turned to leave, he stopped and looked back at the old man.

"Professor," he said, "I'm sure there will be some level of retaliation from my housemates. What should I do? What will happen to Evan Rosier?"

"You needn't worry, my boy," he assured. "I will make sure they leave you and Miss Evans alone."

Severus looked at the old man with what could've been described as gratitude. He felt a twinge of guilt for lying to him; the conversations he'd shared with whom he now considered a close friend and wise mentor were personal; if he disclosed them to anyone else, it could potentially ruin everything he was striving to earn. It was strange how he never realized, at first, the likeness his handwriting bore to the person's on the other end. The notes he'd received had contained information about Severus's past, secrets, and hidden longings that no one could've possibly known, unless the writer was the boy in question.

He left the Headmaster's office and returned to the hospital wing where he intended to sleep; he wasn't prepared to return to his dormitory yet. He wasn't prepared to face anyone, for that matter. If he could hole himself inside a wall until his recent humiliation blew over, he would leap at the opportunity. Severus lay in bed and watched the light on his bed stand, until his eyes rolled back and he fell into a fitful sleep.

_A/N: Updates might continue to be a little slow as I'm starting school tomorrow and will need to focus primarily on homework. However, I definitely intend to keep up this story. Sorry if the chapter seems a little short. I like to keep them that way so my attention span doesn't fail me mid-way. Thank you to all who have read and reviewed; you continue to be an invaluable source of motivation. I hope you continue to enjoy my story! _


	6. Hogsmeade

_A/N: I know I'm such a loser for not updating in forever, but I've been really busy with school and haven't had the chance to write as much as I'd like to. The good thing is, I know where I want to go with this story and do not intend to abandon it. I don't plan to make this story smutty or overly graphic, but I might bump up the rating for this story in the future. I'm mainly trying to play it safe. I've debated over this for awhile because I'm afraid I might lose readers. Things of a sexual nature are mentioned in this chapter, but they're tame in retrospect. I loved writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy reading it! Maybe I'll be less of a loser in the future and not wait so long between updates. _

_**Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches**_

"Lily?"

It was late and the Gryffindor common room was deserted, save for herself and James Potter. She was curled up on a red armchair in front of a blazing fire and _had _been reading until he so rudely interrupted.

"Leave me alone," she snapped, not even bothering to look up.

"Please," he insisted in a low voice, bracing the edge of the chair. "I want to apologize for what happened to Sniv – Severus the other night."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," she stated, flipping a page. "Do you mind? I'm trying to study here."

"_The Veela Diaries?_" he read the cover of her book with a trace of a smile.

The front cover depicted a silver-haired girl with pale skin who was attempting to entire a young wizard. It was one of those horrid romance novels one of her dorm mates had suggested she read. Lily hid the book, red-faced.

"I don't typically read books like this," she explained, avoiding his gaze. "I haven't enjoyed it one bit."

"Oh? You looked as if you couldn't put it down," he said, grinning.

It dawned on Lily that, like the Veela, he was attempting to entire her in some semblance of a normal conversation and she didn't like it one bit. She stood from the armchair and made way for the stone steps leading to the girl's dormitory.

"Goodnight, Potter," she tossed over her shoulder.

"I wish you would stop resisting for once, so you could at least hear what I have to say," he called, irritated.

Lily stopped before she reached the stairs, clutching her book to her chest, and turned around to face him. She looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time that evening.

"I was wondering where those beautiful green eyes had gone," he mused, making her blush in spite of herself.

"You're charms aren't going to work," she said mildly.

"It was worth a try," he shrugged, fidgeting nervously. "Anyway, I've gotten to thinking lately – about you and me. I wanted to ask if, in the future, I managed to 'deflate my head a bit, would you consider going out with me?"

Lily stared into the fire and struggled to formulate a response. It would be unfair to say 'no' but, at that point, she honestly couldn't imagine ever being with him.

"Potter, I don't have an answer to that," she replied at last. "After everything that's happened between you and Severus, I don't think it would be possible for us to ever be together. You're the bane of his existence, you know. Imagine what a disaster things would be if I actually started _dating _you."

"Why should Snape matter?" he spat, wounded. "I want to know what _you _want, not him!"

"He's my best friend," she countered, green eyes slits. "I value his friendship above anything else. If I had to choose between you and Severus, he would be the obvious choice."

"You obviously value his friendship more than your self-respect too," he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

She stiffened and turned very pale. "What did you say?"

James regarded her intensely. "I don't get why you're still friends with him," he said. "No one does."

"It's too bad I don't give a damn. Good-night," she said in a tight voice. She turned on her heel and rushed up the stone steps to the girl's dormitory before James could reply.

He stared after her, dejected.

* * *

><p>Mary looked up from her diary, quill in hand, when Lily stormed into the dorm room. She adjusted her reading specs and shifted on her bed so she sat cross-legged. She stared at Lily expectantly but the red-haired girl said nothing and seemed to purposely avoid eye contact.<p>

"What's wrong?" she asked, setting her diary on her nightstand.

"Nothing," Lily muttered, flopping down on her bed. "Not like you would care, anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mary raised her voice defensively. "Is it about Snape?"

A girl who was trying to sleep glared at her from across the room.

"Yes, as a matter of fact," Lily replied in a clipped voice. "I'd rather not talk about it, though. I've learned from experience that it's not a good idea to share anything with you."

"You aren't still mad about that day in the library, are you?" Mary whispered, climbing to the edge of her bed. "You can't blame me for being a bit concerned. I'm your friend for crying out loud! I'm supposed to look out for you."

"I just wish people would stop telling me what to do," Lily said through gritted teeth. "No one understands and while I don't expect everyone to, I wish I had more respect for my decisions. I wouldn't be friends with Severus if I didn't think I could trust him, you know."

Lily rolled over and curled up on her side, and wiped away a few frustrated tears that had somehow managed to escape. Mary moved to sit on Lily's bed, wishing her friend would look at her.

"I'm _sorry_," she said. "I never meant to be unsupportive. I just don't want to see you get hurt again. I'll admit, Snape earned a few points with me the other day. He stuck up for you and I like that."

Lily turned to face her, brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Rumor has it, Rosier was saying some pretty nasty things about you and that's why Snape flew at him the way he did," she explained. "At first, Snape didn't want to fight. He tried to walk away, but Rosier followed him and used you as a means to provoke him. To be honest, I think he fancies you."

Lily sat up and faced Mary. "That's rubbish!" she exclaimed softly, turning pink. "We're just friends, really good friends. He's protective of me like a brother would be of his sister. That's all."

Mary glanced at her sidelong.

"Feeling hot and flustered, are we?" she smirked.

Lily narrowed her eyes and decided it was best to change the subject.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier," she said, wringing her hands. "I just finished talking to Potter downstairs and he's suck an arrogant prat!" she cradled her head in her hands and sighed in frustration. "You know, sometimes I get to thinking he's not that bad but, in the end, he never fails to remind me of why I dislike him."

"What did he say?" Mary prodded, eager to hear the sordid details.

"I'll tell you later," Lily replied, hopping out of bed and slipping on her robe and slippers. "I should go to Severus. We haven't talked since the incident and I should give him his homework. I should've done it earlier but I forgot."

"Are you sure that's the only reason you're dying to see him this late at night?" Mary batted her eyelashes coyly.

Lily grabbed her school bag and slung it over her shoulder.

"Why the sudden change of heart, Mary?" Lily teased, grinning mischievously over her shoulder. "Is it because you saw him naked?"

Mary visibly paled.

"I wouldn't go that far," she warned. "He may be _slightly _alright in my book as of now, but he's still greasy."

* * *

><p>"What d'you want?" Regulus Black asked the green-eyed girl standing anxiously before him, curling his upper lip as he did so.<p>

He and Lily Evans were standing in front of the entrance to the Slytherin common room. She crossed her arms in agitation.

"I'd like to talk to Severus," she huffed. "Can you get him for me, please?"

"Why can't you wait until tomorrow? It's late."

"Not that you really seem to care, but Severus hasn't been in class all week," she sighed. "I came to give him his homework. I've asked three of your housemates to fetch him for me, and all three were too stuck up to help. I'm in no mood to play games, Black."

"Oh?" he arched a black eyebrow. "What's the worst you could do to me, Evans – turn me into a goldfish? Even if I'm a year younger, I think I have a few more tricks up my sleeve. I'd tread carefully if I were you."

She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "True," she agreed. "I am certainly not as well versed in the Dark Arts, but I _am _housemates with your prat of an older brother. I'm sure he knows a few dark secrets about you he wouldn't mind sharing with the school."

Their eyes locked for a long, tense moment. Her gaze was challenging while his wavered.

"Alright," he sighed and left muttering about she played dirty and should consider working for the Ministry.

Moments later, Severus appeared.

"Lily?" his tone was full of surprise. He wore a gray nightshirt, brown threadbare pajama pants, and mismatched socks. "What're you doing here?"

"Why hello, Sev," Lily greeted dryly. "It's so nice to see you too. How long has it been?"

He smiled uncertainly and quickly looked away.

"Sorry I haven't been round lately," he mumbled, his absent gaze fixated somewhere above her left shoulder.

"No need to apologize. I wouldn't want to come to class either if I'd…" her cheeks turned pink as her sentence came to a halt. Seizing the opportunity to change the subject, she pulled his homework from her bag.

"I came to give you this," she said, shoving it into his hands. "You can borrow my notes if you'd like, as long as you return them to me by Monday. There's a quiz coming up in Herbology."

Severus's lips formed a thin, tight line in what must've been a smile. "Thanks for the heads up," he nodded tersely, meeting her eyes for a brief moment before looking away again. His skin grew paler in the dim light.

_This is awkward, _they each thought as they proceeded to stand in silence. Lily wanted so badly to talk to him about _everything_, but she was getting the impression he didn't want to talk to her at all, let alone see her. It stung a bit.

"Aren't you going to tell me what happened with Dumbledore?" she prodded, attempting to cover her annoyance with an eager expression.

Severus shrugged. "There isn't much to tell," he said. "I went to his office, many words were exchanged, and then I went to bed."

"Why are you being like this?" she wondered aloud, sounding more hurt than she cared to admit.

"You asked a question and I answered it, so what's the problem?" he snapped. "Did I not seem excited enough about my conversation with Dumbledore? I'll remember to try harder next time."

He turned to leave, staring coldly at the floor. Lily caught the sleeve of his gray nightshirt and reeled him in to face her.

"Look," she hissed, "I know what Rosier did to you was cruel and low, but I don't deserve to be mistreated by you simply because you have it out for the whole world right now. I've waited an hour to give you your sodding homework. Not only have I had to put up with your snobby housemates, but I can't feel my body anymore from how cold it is down here."

A tremor ran through her. She looked into her friend's pale, thin face and it appeared just as stoic as it had moments before. _Will anything get through to him tonight?_ She sighed and shook her head in defeat. "Forget it, I won't even bother."

She released his shirt and turned to leave. This time, it was Severus who stopped her.

"Wait!" he cried. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Just listen to me, alright?"

She lifted her chin defiantly. "Why should I?"

"I don't want us to part on bad terms," he replied. "That's never worked in the past. I'm sorry for the way I acted but to be honest, I've been trying to avoid you."

"Why?" What have I done, other than help you"

"That's just it, Lily," he said. "You're _always _helping me. You're always the one saving my neck."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll remember to not care what happens to you from now on," Lily's voice dripped with sarcasm.

Severus ground his fist into his eye.

"It's not that. It's just – how am I ever – I only want to prove to myself that…"

"Prove what?" Lily urged him to finish.

He rounded his shoulders and stared at the floor intensely.

"How can I protect you, or anyone else for that matter, if I can't even protect myself?"

She stared at him, shocked by his answer.

"You don't always have to prove yourself to the world, you know," she said at last. "You don't have to be what you think people want you to be, or who you 'should' be."

"What if I _want _to be that person, Lily?" he persisted. "I remember you used to look up to me. I used to be the only link to the magical world you had. No one had ever treated me that way before. I felt like I could be exactly the person I wanted to be. The minute we boarded the train to school, I was teased and pushed around by others. Suddenly, I felt the way I'd always felt before I met you. You didn't need me anymore after that point because everything we'd talked and dreamed about was within reach. Since then you've fought on my behalf and made excuses for me, as if I needed a reason to belong here." He rubbed his forehead. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to _be _somebody."

"You _are_, Sev," Lily said seriously. "As I said, you don't have to prove yourself to others. You don't have to prove yourself to me, or your parents. Mary told me you fought Rosier because you were standing up for me. A year ago, you might not have done the same because you were eager to please your housemates. You turned against your house to protect me. How can you say you're a nobody after that? How could you ever claim to be pathetic?"

Severus sighed, relenting. "I wish people could see me the way you do," he said. "I wish they had as much faith."

She shook her head. "Don't care what they think at all. Now are you planning on leaving your cave anytime soon? I miss you."

She jumped forward and threw her arms around him. A wry grin tugged at his mouth, revealing his crooked teeth.

"I thought I could hide out a little longer before I face the world again."

"You promised me a trip to Hogsmeade, remember?" she murmured into his chest before pulling away. "There's a trip scheduled for tomorrow."

"I don't know, Lily," he replied hesitantly.

"I won't take 'no' for an answer," she insisted. "You promised."

"I said I would go with you, but I never staked my life on it," he said wryly.

"It's close enough. Meet me in front of the castle after breakfast. If you don't show, you'll have more than your housemates and reputation to worry about."

* * *

><p>Severus met Lily at the front of the castle the following morning and they walked briskly to Hogsmeade through well-trodden snow. Severus glossed over his conversation with Dumbledore and explained how he had been assigned to switch rooms with another sixth-year Slytherin. His new dorm mates were not aspiring Death Eaters, and Lily thought it was a good call on Dumbledore's behalf. Severus had never realized before that Slytherin wasn't completely made up of future Death Eaters, and he hoped his time spent there would improve if he mingled with those who shared similar aspirations.<p>

Once they arrived to Hogsmeade, they first went to Honeyduke's where Lily purchased a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavored Beans and a package of mint chocolate toads. They sat on a bench outside and shared the every flavored beans. Severus found an orange one he hadn't yet tried and popped it in his mouth. His skin quickly took on a greenish hue.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked.

"Vomit flavor," he choked out.

Next, Lily dragged him into Zonko's where they ran into James and Sirius. Severus was delightfully aware of Potter's eyes on them, stewing in jealousy, and he couldn't resist leaning forward to whisper in Lily's ear.

"Guess who's watching?" he said, looking pointedly at James all the while.

Lily glanced over at him too. "Oh, Severus," she giggled and swatted him coyly.

Potter's eyes narrowed. Severus grinned at him maliciously as they walked away. They left the joke shop and meandered their way through the village, stopping at a shop here and there, until they had traveled all the way to the Shrieking Shack. Lily gripped the wire fence and gazed at it in a mixture of awe and fear. Severus stood a few paces back, vividly recalling the cruel prank James and Sirius had played on him.

"What's it like in there?" she asked in a hushed voice, not taking her eyes off it.

"Nothing special," he replied. "It's dark and dusty."

"I wonder what lives in there," she breathed. "Did you catch a glimpse of it?"

Severus had to bite his tongue.

"No," he lied. "It was too dark. I could tell it was big, though, and hairy."

Lily's eyes widened. Severus smirked. She'd always been attracted to things she was frightened of. When they were little, she used to invite him over to her house to watch scary Muggle movies. She loved watching them, even if she had to sleep with her light on for a week afterward.

"I bet loads of people are talking about my latest incident," he said for the hundredth time that day, watching Lily.

She had noticed he'd been exceptionally keen on talking about what happened and what people might be saying. She had the impression he wanted to find something out from her when she barely knew anything herself. Severus had the tendency to hint at things he wanted to talk about, but wouldn't open up unless someone bothered him about it long enough. She suddenly felt inclined to investigate.

"What are you trying to figure out, Severus?" Lily asked, peering over her shoulder at him through the bright light of the afternoon.

Severus's cheeks reddened, and it wasn't from the cold.

"Lily, half the school saw me naked. People are surely saying things."

The look he gave her was pleading. He obviously didn't want to spell it out and usually Lily was perceptive enough to assist him; although his behavior had been nothing short of strange as of late, so there really was no other choice than for him to be blunt.

"So what if they ate?" she shrugged carelessly.

"Have _you _heard anything?" he asked tentatively, his black eyes furtive.

She shook her head.

"No," answered honestly, "but I wouldn't have cared otherwise. If it makes you feel any better, if I catch anyone talking about your private bits I'll tell them to mind their own business. Who knows, maybe I'll hear nothing but girls rave about you and in that case, I won't tell them to stop."

She elbowed him playfully in the ribs. Severus's lips compressed into a thin line, as his face turned an unpleasant shade of red.

"It was a joke, Sev."

"Really? Well, it wasn't a very good one," he muttered.

She rolled her eyes, regarding him with an affectionate half-smile.

"I can't help but feel you're worried about something you're not telling me," she said. "I'd like to help you, whatever it is, but you'll have to tell me first."

He nudged the wet ground with the toe of his worn black boot. His hair hung in his face like a defense barrier, and she reached forward to tuck his long bangs behind his ear. His skin tingled where her fingers brushed and he shivered involuntarily.

"You're stalling," she leaned against his shoulder and tried to make him look at her. "I know you want to tell me, but you're too stubborn."

"I'm not stubborn!" he protested, tugging at the hem of his coat. "I'm strong-willed. There's a difference."

Lily folded her arms and _tsk, tsk, tsked. _"You're even too stubborn to admit it," she countered.

He took a deep, calming breath in order to suppress the urge to tear his hair out and scream. He shouldn't have brought the bloody subject up. Lily wouldn't quit bugging him until he caved in. He didn't mind under most circumstances. He was able to talk to her about things he wouldn't with anyone else, but he was afraid that whatever he was about to say would scare her or make his feelings too obvious.

"I just don't want you to hear anything from anyone," he said.

"Why not? Have you got any secret tattoos I should know about?" She peered at him suspiciously, stroking her chin.

"Let's just say I care about your opinion," Severus stated simply.

Lily wasn't quite sure how to interpret his answer. Why should her opinion matter? An idea tugged at the back of her mind but she dismissed it.

"You're my best friend, Lily," he assured exasperatedly, sensing her unease. "It would make things awkward if you – ah – knew things."

"Personally, I think you're a prude," Lily giggled, 'but you secretly _want _me to know."

"_What_?" Severus gaped, horrified. "Where would you get that idea?"

"If you really didn't want to talk about it, you would've dropped the subject ages ago," Lily pointed out. "If you're really that worried I'll hear all the sordid details of your naked tour of the castle, then it might be in your best interest to tell me yourself. That way if I do hear something, it'll be old news. Not to mention I've already seen you hanging upside down in your underpants"

"Thanks for reminding me," he replied bitterly. "What would I tell you, anyway?"

"I suppose you could start with all the embarrassing things people are saying about you," she said. "I could tell you a few embarrassing things about myself to make it even."

It sounded like a terrible idea, but something about it was tempting. He considered the idea for a long, hard moment before replying, "You go first."

"Alright," she agreed, though a little nervously. She cleared her throat. "Well, for starters, I have a star shaped freckle on my bum."

He had a fleeting image of Lily in her knickers with her star-shaped freckle in view. He gulped. Perhaps this was why he decided to play her game.

"It's your turn," she nudged his boot with hers.

He blinked. "A star-shaped freckle, Lily – how is that fair?" he demanded. "That's not bad at all."

"True," she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I'm quite proud of it, actually. Want to know something silly? After you told me I was a witch, I saw it as a sign of my true identity."

A little smile twisted his mouth at the thought. "That's not silly," he said softly. "Now, let's carry on with our game of self-degradation."

"Well," Lily began, wringing her hands. She was going to tell him something she probably shouldn't. She took a deep breath and held it. "According to Petunia, my breasts are the shape of ice cream cones."

There. She had said it. Lily watched closely for his reaction, biting the inside of her cheek anxiously.

Severus blinked once, twice, three times. His face twitched. And then, apparently unable to contain himself any longer, he threw back his head and laughed – or more like cackled, Lily thought.

She shoved him. "It's not funny!" she yelled, red-faced.

He stumbled backward, as she strode away with her arms folded across her chest protectively.

"Lily, wait!" he called, running after her.

He caught her shoulder and turned her around. Her eyes were bloodshot but dry.

"Why are you angry?" he asked, perplexed.

"Petunia says it's bad to have ice cream cone shaped breasts," Lily explained sullenly. "She says I better be careful or I'll poke a boy's eye out."

Severus's mouth twitched again; thankfully, Lily was looking at the ground instead of him.

Petunia had said many things to cut Lily down over the years. She'd said her freckles made her look diseased, that her face was slightly lopsided, that she had the body of a little boy… Lily had wanted so badly to tell her sister she strongly resembled a horse, but had refrained. She was simply incapable of hurting other people, even if they were terrible to her. It was maddening.

"What rubbish," Severus snorted. "Who is she to talk, anyway? She's as flat-chested as I am."

"Careful," Lily warned, but smiled in spite of herself. "She's still my sister."

"Warts and all?" he queried.

She smacked him playfully. "Hush, you."

"If it makes you feel any better," he said, arms trembling as he gripped her shoulders, "every girl in school finds me disgusting."

"Not me," she interjected quietly.

He released his grip on her and glanced at her doubtfully. "I overheard a group of girls call me a 'knobhead with no knob'", he said plainly. "Not only am I knobless – I'm greasy, creepy, and generally ugly."

He winced as though he'd ripped off a bandage but tried to act nonchalant. Lily gazed at hum sadly.

"You see?" he continued. "You have nothing to worry about."

"You don't believe what those girls said, do you?" she asked almost fearfully.

"They _were _Hufflepuffs," he mused. "I usually never take _them _seriously."

"Please, Severus," she implored, "tell me honestly. Were you worried their opinion of you would influence mine? Did you think I'd see you as any less of a person?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Maybe a bit," he admitted.

"Why?" she seemed mildly affronted.

_Because I want you to find me attractive. I want you to want me. I want you to kiss and touch me, as if you've dreamt about doing it forever… but I could never tell you this because you might smack me. _

"I don't know," he replied lamely. "I just… I just…" Should he tell her the truth? "I…" He tried to formulate a sentence, a good one that perfectly summed up everything he'd bottled up for nearly eight years, but his brain turned to mush. His insides were churning in panic. His breath was pained and shallow, his armpits sweaty. "I've just been paranoid since our near falling-out," he blurted. "I don't want anything to come in between our friendship."

_That was close, _he sighed.

Lily was satisfied by this answer, and his opportunity was gone in a flash. Severus felt as if he would cave in on himself.

"Do me a favor and forget what those dreadful girls said," she wrinkled her nose at the mention of them. "Their words were hurtful and untrue.

He was tempted to ask her to elaborate but nodded instead. "Anyway, life could be worse. I could look like Petunia, for instance. Or be dead."

Lily smacked him again, harder this time. He rubbed his abdomen and winced. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you hate me about as much as everyone else."

"Let's get a Butterbeer, shall we?" she suggested, looping her arm through his and guiding him in the direction of the Three Broomsticks.

Severus followed suit. Along the way, he mustered the courage to ask her something he'd been vaguely worried about.

"Where do you stand on the great hair debate?" he inquired, pointing to his limp, oily hair. "Is it good the way it is, or should I try something different?"

Lily examined his hair and was tempted to tell him the length was fine, but he could wash it more often. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, so she said, "Wear it the way you like it."

_I can live under those terms, _he thought.

It was tradition for Severus and Lily to go to the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer each time they visited Hogsmeade; it was a place they, like many others, went to unwind after an eventful day spent exploring the shops or surrounding town. They paid for their drinks and found a table in a remote corner by a little window encrusted with frost. The sat in comfortable silence and sipped their drinks. Lily gazed out the window at passerbys, while Severus gazed at Lily and drank in her loveliness. He always looked forward to spending this extra time with her, even if he griped about it. The problem with drinking Butterbeer, however, was Severus's nose: it was simply too big. Each time he took a sip, the tip of his nose dipped into the thick layer of foam at the top of his drink.

"Yet another reason to hate my father," he pointed accusingly at his sticky, hooked nose.

Lily turned her gaze from the window and stared at him, cupping her cheek. Lily had the sudden urge to lean forward and lick the foam from the tip of his nose. She stiffened and her ears turned pink at the thought.

"Nonsense!" Lily exclaimed, turning her gaze to look furtively out the window again. "Your nose is perfectly fine. It's very… distinctive."

"It causes trouble wherever I go," he muttered into a napkin as he scrubbed his nose clean.

* * *

><p>Severus walked Lily to Gryffindor tower that evening. They stood beside the Portrait of the Fat Lady when they arrived, and simply looked at each other. She fiddled with her box of mint chocolate toads the way girls did in Muggle movies when they wanted the boy to kiss them. It made Lily feel strange to think of it that way, but the idea stuck despite her efforts.<p>

Severus felt closer to Lily than he had in a long time, and it overjoyed him. He felt anxious in her presence, and maybe even a little erect.

"I never thanked you for defending me," she said, breaking the thick silence. "You've put up with a lot from your housemates this year, and I can't imagine what it must be like. I'm just so happy you chose me instead of them."

She took his hand and squeezed it. "You have no idea how grateful I am," she added, and she snatched her lower lip with her teeth to keep it from trembling. _Don't cry, Lily. Pull yourself together, _she thought.

Her face seemed to glow in the dim light and he was captivated by it. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose were still pink from the cold air outside.

"I like the way you're looking at me,' he said honestly, surprising himself. "You look… proud. "

"I am," she grinned.

"I've never been looked at quite like that before," he continued solemnly. "Keep doing it, alright?"

She gazed at him with a mixture of sadness and affection. "Of course," she replied. "I'm sure it won't be that hard to manage." She dropped his hand and regarded the entrance to Gryffindor Tower thoughtfully. "I best be off," she added. "Mum and dad sent me a letter last week, I should reply to them before I go to bed. Are you coming home for Christmas? My parents would like to know."

Severus shuffled his feet. "I haven't planned on it," he shrugged. "My mum owled me the other day and said she and my dad would be out of town. Apparently, my uncle's wife passed away."

Lily's forehead wrinkled in concern. "Your poor uncle," she said.

"Yeah, well…" he trailed off and they proceeded to stand in awkward silence.

"Well, my parents have invited you to stay with us," she explained tentatively. "You don't have to if you'd rather stay here. It won't hurt their feelings if you say 'no'. I would love it if you said 'yes', though. Think of how much fun we could have!"

Severus's eyes glazed with thought. Living under the same roof with Lily for two whole weeks? Technically, he lived under the same roof with her year round, but they slept at opposite ends of the castle. The thought of sleeping just a mere trip down the hall made his heart race. The problem was, he had plans to make some kind of move on Lily at Slughorn's party. He didn't know what, but he was determined to make something happen. It would be miserable to spend the holiday with Lily and her family if for some reason his plan backfired. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if the knowledge of his feelings would scare her off? In that case, maybe it was better to wait until they went back to Cokeworth. It would certainly give them more privacy.

"I'll give it some thought," he said at last.

"I really should get to bed," Lily repeated, glancing at the portrait of the Fat Lady. She turned back to him and chewed her lip as though debating something.

She stepped forward and kissed his cheek. The feel of her warm, soft lips on his cold skin sent chills down his neck and side.

"What was that for?" he demanded.

"For a wonderful day at Hogsmeade and for sticking up for me" she replied before disappearing behind the portrait of the Fat Lady.

His legs shook all the way down to the dungeons. He managed to not run into any walls, as he replayed the day in his head.

"_Don't listen to Petunia," I should've said. "She's just jealous you inherited all the good looks."_

"_What if she's right, though?" she asks, green eyes wide. "What if I they really are ugly? What if I'm ugly?"_

_I kiss her forehead, her eyelids, her nose. "You're not," I say, and kiss her lips._

Suddenly, Slughorn's party seemed decades away.

* * *

><p><em>AN: The part where Snape says the girls called him a 'knobhead with no knob' is not my own creation. I took it from Bridget Jones's Diary. In the movie, Bridget is consoling her friend about her rotten boyfriend and refers to him as such. The friend happens to be the same woman who plays Moaning Myrtle and ironically, she's in a bathroom crying when this conversation takes place. The part where Lily has the urge to lick Butterbeer foam off his nose is taken from a head-canon I posted on my tumblr account and liked enough to use in this story I'm proud to say that is my own creation. I finished this at 2:30 in the morning, and I hope my writing doesn't reflect that. _


	7. Peeves, Padfoot, and Prongs

_**Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches **_

_A/N: I should've been writing a research paper instead of this. Please enjoy!_

* * *

><p>At breakfast on Sunday, Professor Flitwick and an avid group of first year students were decorating one very large Christmas tree at the front of the Great Hall, wands poised as they levitated ornaments of all shapes and colors high in the air. A cluster of smaller trees lined the walls, sparkling in the golden morning light streaming in through tall windows. Warm, dry snowflakes fell silently from the enchanted ceiling. A trio of ghosts glided through the four tables singing Christmas carols in low, melodic voices; students shivered as the transparent figures glided through them.<p>

Lily sat at the Gryffindor table, idly stirring her porridge. She had always loved the Christmas season as a child, but her fondness for it had grown significantly since she and Severus had begun attending Hogwarts. Her eyes drifted to a particular dark-haired Slytherin whose large nose was buried in a massive book. He nibbled absently on a square of toast, licking butter off his lips.

"What about Donal?" Mary asked Lily and the other sixth-year girls seated nearby. "He's a good-looking bloke, don't you think?"

"Donal O'Flaherty?" a blond girl named Katie wrinkled her nose. "I suppose he's alright. Isn't he a fifth-year?"

"So what?" Mary snapped. "Younger men can be quite fun."

"You can hardly call him a man if he hasn't even got chest hair yet!" Marlene shrieked in laughter, promptly covering her mouth in an effort to contain herself.

"That's rubbish," Lily scoffed in Mary's defense, feeling the conversation in itself was ridiculous.

_Don't they have anything better to talk about? _She thought exasperatedly. She tasted her lukewarm porridge, briefly wondering if Severus had chest hair. The idea of it was simply… odd.

"How would you know?" Mary retorted. "Have you been spying on him when he's in the locker room changing out of his Quidditch uniform, or something?"

"No, but I heard from a friend of a friend of Helena McKinnon that –."

"Naveen Poddar is rather handsome," Katie interjected. "I sat by him in Defense Against the Dark Arts last year. He's very smart and has the prettiest blue eyes. His dad's from India and his Mum grew up in Surrey."

Mary piled three fried eggs and bacon between two slices of toast.

"Now _he's _a looker," she said, biting off a huge chunk of her sandwich and gulping it down without even chewing. "Do you still talk?" A bit of fried egg dangled from the corner of her mouth.

"No," Katie said regretfully. "I've been trying to pluck up the courage to ask him to go to Hogsmeade with me for a year now, but I get so nervous every time he looks at me with those eyes! I end up asking for the time instead."

_Severus has nice eyes, _Lily thought. _Maybe not nice per se, but definitely unique_. She didn't know anyone whose eyes were as dark as his, or as intense. They glinted when he was angry or scheming, and gleamed when he was pleased with himself. They expressed so much more than he was capable of with mere words, yet sometimes his eyes were just as hard to read as the rest of him. There was one look he seemed to reserve for her alone (or at least she hoped), and she wasn't sure how to describe it – though it certainly made her blush.

_Tsk, tsk, tsk, _Mary clucked. "You should let me help you," she said to Katie. "I could talk to him perhaps – find out what he likes – see if he fancies anyone in particular…"

Katie blushed. "Thanks, but it doesn't sound like such a good idea…"

"Why not?" Mary protested.

"Mary," Lily sighed, "stop poking your nose in other people's business. You're making Katie uncomfortable."

_Thank you, _Katie mouthed appreciatively.

The brown-haired girl stuck her tongue out. "Speaking of poking my nose where it doesn't belong," she began. "Have there been any recent developments with Sever – ouch! What did elbow me for? That hurt." She winced and rubbed her side.

Lily buried her face in her hands. Katie and Marlene looked at her questioningly.

"I'm going to class," she informed them, forgetting in her haste that it was Sunday.

Her fellow Gryffindors exchanged raised eyebrows behind her back.

Lily glanced at the Slytherin table again, and Severus happened to look up from his book at that precise moment. She quickly looked away and resisted the urge to break out into a run as she left the Great Hall. _Why am I acting so insane? _Lily wasn't positive she wanted to know the answer.

* * *

><p>She had been thinking about her friend more and more since their reconcilement over the summer. Strange, uncomfortable thoughts kept popping into her head. Severus had never talked about other girls in her presence before. What did Severus find attractive in a girl? Did he think <em>she <em>was pretty? Sure, she'd wondered these things in the past but she hadn't been as aware of it as she was now. _If Mary is right about Severus fancying me, then why did he laugh when I told him about my ice-cream cone shaped breasts?_

The memory of his reaction depressed her somewhat.

Lily flopped on her bed in the empty dormitory, facedown, and grumbled into her pillow. It wasn't as if Severus wasn't attracted to girls; she knew for a fact he was. One summer day before their fifth year, they'd gone to the playground to sit in the shade of the trees and talk. Two older girls sat on the swings nearby with cigarettes in hand, blowing smoke-rings and tracing circles in the sand with their bare toes. She'd noticed his eyes linger on them from time to time and it was obvious he'd thought they were pretty. Even then, Lily had envied their confidence: the way they tossed their hair when they laughed; the way they stretched out their long, slender legs and examined their painted toenails; or the way they filled out their tank tops in a way Lily _never _could. She'd tugged on the hem of her knee-length skirt, feeling ridiculously childish in her modest clothing.

_If Severus likes girls who dress and act like that, I really can't compete, _Lily thought with an impending sense of doom. _I'm Saint Lily. _

She rolled over on her back and stared up at her scarlet canopy. _Still_, _I have very little evidence of what he does like, and the only way to find out is to experiment. Slughorn's Christmas party would be a good place to start…_

* * *

><p>Severus had been on a high since his trip to Hogsmeade with Lily. He hadn't been able to sleep, eat, or concentrate on his studies for the remainder of the weekend. No one could spoil his mood – not even those who whispered and sang renditions of <em>'Nakey Snapey' <em>behind his back. He found that when it came time for bed, he was too excited to sleep and spent half the night staring up at his green canopy, clutching his bed sheets in a mixture of hope and panic. In the Great Hall on Tuesday, he nudged the food on his plate absently. Anytime he caught a glimpse of dark red hair, he wanted to vomit in the best possible way and the overwhelming aroma of food didn't help.

_There could be many reasons why she kissed my cheek, _he reasoned. _I mean, she doesn't have to fancy me in order to kiss me. _

Either way, he wanted to know how he could get her to kiss him again, perhaps closer to the mouth next time. He glanced up from his porridge at the ceiling crisscrossed with holly and mistletoe.

_Mistletoe, _he observed with interest. _Seems like an overused idea, but I really can't afford to be too choosey, can I? I'd rather have her lips on mine (or anywhere, for that matter) than not at all. _

He pictured himself with Lily at Slughorn's Christmas social, luring her under a sprig of mistletoe without her knowledge.

"_Well, well, well," _he'd say, drawing her attention upward. _"Look what we have here…"_

"Severus?" an all-too familiar voice said from behind.

He knocked his bowl of porridge to the floor, sloshing it everywhere – on his robes, the bench, even Lily – in his haste to face her.

"Sorry, sorry," he said quickly, ducking beneath the table to retrieve his bowl and hide his red, splotchy face.

Lily cast a quick _"Scourgify!" _before taking a seat beside him. Many Slytherins shot her dirty looks and scooted away from her as far as possible.

"There goes my breakfast," he muttered, gazing into the empty depths of his bowl.

"Didn't mean to scare you," Lily said apologetically, emerald eyes glimmering. "I never thought you could be so jumpy."

Severus smiled weakly and hid his face behind his hair. "So how's it going?" he asked in what he hoped was a calm, conversational tone, surveying the food on the table in feigned interest.

He snatched a piece of toast and laid it on a plate.

"It's going," she replied casually and reached out to tuck his long bangs behind his ear. It was an old habit of hers, and she seemed to do it without thinking. He flinched when her skin made contact with his. Even the slightest touch from her made every nerve in his body stand on end.

"That's better," she continued. "I like when I can see your face."

"Why?" he snorted. He had begun to tear his toast to pieces, unaware of what he was doing.

"No one likes talking to a wall of hair!" she teased, nudging his shoulder with hers. "So have you decided or what?"

"Decided on what?" he asked, absently shredding a second piece of toast.

"Whether you're going to stay at my house over the holiday, of course," she rolled her eyes with a huff. "Have you given it any thought?"

"Not really," he shrugged. _That's a glaring lie._ He wrenched his eyes away from the mound of breadcrumbs on his plate (with difficulty) long enough to detect a flicker of hurt on her pretty face.

"I've been up to my neck in homework all weekend trying to catch up," he explained, sounding mildly exasperated. "If it makes you feel any better," he added, mustering the courage to brush his leg against hers, "my answer is yes."

Many things happened at once: Lily, squealing in delight, threw her arms around his neck and pecked him lightly on the cheek. It took him a moment to register it (he'd been a bit preoccupied with the sensation of his angular, stiff body pressed against her warm, soft one.) Lily pulled away from him as quickly as she'd grabbed him, as if burned. She hurried away, saying something about going to the Owlery to send a note to her Mum, to which Severus nodded in a daze.

* * *

><p>During his free period later that day, Severus received a notice from Professor Slughorn. He went to the library and took up his usual spot in the corner before opening the fancy, gilded envelope. Professor Slughorn's elaborate cursive was difficult to read.<p>

_My Dear Slug Club Member,_

_Due to an alarming amount of complaints in regards to the Christmas social being held at midnight, I have decided to change the time to 7:00 in the evening, and it will be held in the main dungeon. However, the original special event will still be held at midnight for those curious as to what I have up my sleeve. As always, the Christmas social is a __**formal **__event – come wearing your best robes and your most polished pair of shoes. I look forward to seeing you all this Saturday! Be sure to study extra hard for your exams!_

_With Warmest Wishes,_

_Professor Horace Slughorn _

He folded the letter and tucked it away in his bag. He fished inside it for_ Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches. _He shuffled through the pages, wondering if there was a chapter on _'Tell-Tale Signs a Witch Fancies You,' _or something of that nature. He read the introduction to _Chapter 8: Understanding the Female Witch. _

'_Women are complicated creatures, young and old alike. On one hand, they want you to chase them and initiate the romance while on the other, they prefer to be in control of the situation. It all comes down to the fact that women generally don't know what they want, and it takes them awhile to decide. The best thing you can do is not rush them. Be consistent, honest, genuine, and lend her support when she needs it most; do this and in the end you'll find her choosing you as her ideal mate.'_

That wasn't quite what he was looking for. As far as he knew, Lily always seemed quite certain in everything she did. Severus skimmed the chapter with a dissatisfied frown.

'_It's important to pay attention to the way a girl treats you, as her actions speak volumes about her intentions. A witch who genuinely finds herself attracted to you has no trouble finding time to spend with you. She's eager to see or talk to you often. However, be careful to not misinterpret a witch's shyness or hesitation as lack of interest. They may not have prior experience and may be intimidated by a young wizard's advances – they may not even know how to properly manage their emotions in situations such as these. _

'_Avoid tangling with a girl who merely seeks your company as a source of flattery – it will only lead to heartbreak. Witches like this only have time for you when it is convenient for them, and they may have the tendency to be warm one day and cold the next. There is no way to be completely certain of her intentions from the start. One thing for sure is that time will tell. Patience is a key factor in your endeavors. _

Severus was suddenly aware of a figure floating above his right shoulder.

"What book has Nakey Snapey got his conk stuck in today?" said a shrill, devilish voice.

Severus whirled around, coming face to face with Peeves the Poltergeist.

"What're you doing in here?" he demanded in a low voice, narrowing his eyes. Without thinking, he closed the book swiftly, revealing its title in swirling gold letters.

"_Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches?" _Peeves read a hair too loud. Severus cringed.

"_Shut up!" _he hissed, face contorted. "You're going to get me in trouble if you don't keep your mouth shut. Go pick on a first year, or something."

The prospect of getting Severus into trouble only seemed to brighten Peeves' mood, seeing as how he thrived on the destruction and chaos of people's lives.

"I – don't –think – so," Peeves' said in a singsong voice, his beady eyes glittering wickedly.

He dived for the book and snatched it the same moment Severus did. The short, round poltergeist twisted in mid-air and yanked the book from his grasp, soaring away on it as if it were a magic carpet. Peeves crashed into the iron chandelier lit with candles, startling Madam Pince and many quietly working students, before exploding through the heavy oak doors leading to the maze of corridors. Severus bolted after Peeves, pushing past Madam Pince who stood at the doorway screaming, "PEEVES! PEEVES, YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! SOMEONE FETCH THE BLOODY BARON!"

Severus followed the trail of loose pages Peeves had ripped from the book, collecting them feverishly. Peeves' disembodied voice echoed shrilly through the vast hall but what he was saying, he couldn't tell.

The trail led to the maze of staircases. Peeves was shredding the last of the pages and sprinkling the debris onto the heads of students. He zoomed through the air with the cover of the book perched on his fat head like an ugly pink hat.

Severus descended the staircase quickly, following the pages that were fluttering everywhere like angry birds, knocking over Iris Birmingham as he leapt through the air to catch them. People pointed and laughed at the sight of his red, desperate face. A small crowd had gathered at the bottom of the last staircase, and James Potter and Sirius Black were at the center of it. They turned to look at Severus as he stumbled forward, sweaty and panting for breath, clutching the remnants of his book to his chest.

"All right there, Snivellus?" James called, grinning from ear to ear. He was holding a crumpled piece of parchment in his hands. He waved it in the air for Severus to see. "Padfoot and I were just heading to class, minding our own business, when we happened to stumble upon your letter. It was a rather swell read, wasn't it, Padfoot?"

The color drained from Severus's face. His heart ceased to beat.

"Ingenious," Sirius smirked, stepping forward. "In fact it was so touching, we decided to share it with our peers, didn't we, Prongs?"

"Indeed," James said. "Would you like to hear it, Snivellus?"

Severus was rooted to the ground, unable to move or speak. Everyone's eyes were on him – critical and taunting.

"_My Dearest Lily," _James began extravagantly, eliciting a few snorts of derisive laughter from his admiring crowd. _"I may have never told you, but I've always had a soft spot for gingers and you're my favorite ginger-person by far."_

James, Sirius, and a fair portion of the on-looking crowd roared with laughter. James was doubled over and Sirius clutched his stomach painfully. Without a single thought, Severus withdrew his wand from his school robes, letting the tattered pages of his book flutter to the ground.

He pointed his wand at James and cried, "_Expelliarmus!"_

James's glasses were knocked from his face as he went soaring through the air. In a flash, all three boys were tangled on the floor – hitting and shouting and scraping – wands forgotten.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Oh Peeves, how I love you. I'm aware that I'm making James and Sirius come across as complete jerks in this story. I promise, I don't hate them. At this point, James is very conflicted. He wants to impress Lily but he's still growing out of his big head. I don't care what J.K. Rowling says but I think one of the contributing factors of James conveniently growing out of his bullying after Snape and Lily stopped being friends is because he no longer had any competition. J.K. Rowling has said that James suspected Snape's feelings for Lily and part of his bullying was his jealousy of their friendship, or something to that extent. I think James is essentially a good person and I'd like to show that but at the same time, he and Sirius are just so much to fun to write when they're causing trouble. Also, sorry for the long overdue update. I haven't had any time to write with school. I only have one more week until I'm done and after that I can write to my heart's content! Anyway, I'll quit rambling now. _


	8. The Aftermath

_**Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches**_

Madame Pomfrey didn't ask many questions as she fixed Severus's broken nose, but her disapproval was thinly veiled. James and Sirius had managed to walk away from the fight with nothing but a few scrapes and bruises. The only thing Severus could feel remotely happy about was the Saturday detentions he earned the pair; otherwise, he was filled with nothing but loathing for them. They had ruined everything. A story like this would spread like wildfire through the school, and Lily was bound to hear it from her loudmouth Gryffindor friends, except their version of the story would be wildly exacerbated.

"_Did you hear about the love letter Severus Snape wrote you?" _one would whisper at breakfast in the Great Hall the next morning.

"_What?" _Lily would say, perplexed. "_Severus wrote _me _a love letter? You're barking!" _And then out of curiosity she would ask: "_What did it say?"_

"_Oh, it was dreadful!" _her friends would squeal in delight. _"He said he wanted to rub his greasy head all over your body."_

At this, Lily would sneer in disgust.

"_It doesn't end there_. _He also said he likes the way you flourish your wand, whatever that means. And then he practically _begged _you to return his feelings like a pathetic, lovesick dog."_

Their shrill imaginary laughter rang loudly in his head. He had to tell her before anymore else did.

Severus checked the time and realized he should be in Potions with Lily. James Potter also happened to be in that class. There was no way he was going to be in the same room with those two. It would be the perfect opportunity for James to humiliate Severus in front of Lily. Where else could he go? The Slytherin common room seemed just as dangerous. Perhaps he could hide in a broom cupboard for the rest of the year. No one would notice, except for Lily who would be thankful for his disappearance upon hearing the latest news. Or maybe he could live in the Forbidden Forest for the rest of his life, and hunt giant rats and spiders for food. He could grow a long, wild beard like Hagrid's. He would become just as unkempt and wild as the trees and creatures that lived there. No one would notice or care or judge because he would finally have everything he'd wanted his whole life: pure, blissful solitude.

"May I leave now?" he asked Madame Pomfrey who had cleared the dried blood on his face with a whip of her wand.

"Yes, you may," she said curtly. She left to tend to another student whose head was the size of a balloon.

Severus headed in the direction of the Entrance Hall with his shoulders rounded and head low. His dormitory was the only place he could think of to comfortably hide. Even though Severus wanted to talk to Lily, he wasn't ready. The only way to face Lily would be to tell her the truth. He wasn't ready to make a show of his feelings and possibly have them trampled. They were perfectly safe within the protective walls of his skin, tissue, and bone.

_Coward, _a little voice in his head said.

* * *

><p>Lily felt as though everyone was watching her as she ate her dinner of roast and potatoes in the Great Hall. James and Sirius looked particularly smug as they whispered among themselves, winking at Lily every now and then as if the three of them shared an inside joke. Rumors were floating around the school that Severus had gotten into another fight with them for reasons unclear to her. She'd heard a variety of wild stories all day, each as unlikely as the next. It had all begun in Potions when Severus didn't show up for class. She managed to discover that Severus had broken his nose in the scuffle and promptly went to the Hospital Wing when Filch broke up the fight. After class, Lily had gone there to see if he was alright and figure out what happened but he had already left by the time she arrived.<p>

Lily glanced over at the Slytherin table where Severus sat with his head low, avoiding eye contact with everyone. James followed her line of sight.

"All right, Evans?" he called, ruffling his hair and grinning. "Your boyfriend put on quite a show today. Didn't he, Padfoot? Moony?"

"Don't involve me in this," Lupin said darkly, glaring at James across the table.

"Snivellus never fails to be our crown jewel of entertainment," Sirius quipped. "It was a good thing you weren't there. You would've died of embarrassment."

Lily was curious in spite of herself. "What do you mean?"

James and Sirius exchanged looks of absolute glee. "You don't know?" Sirius said in mock concern. "Maybe you should ask your greasy git of a boyfriend."

Lily's green eyes narrowed. "He's _not _my boyfriend!" she replied hotly. "We're friends. Best friends. A girl and boy can be just friends, you know."

"That's not what I heard," Marlene interjected coyly. "You don't have to pretend anymore. Everyone knows."

"Knows what?" Lily demanded.

James stood and cupped his hands around his mouth. "OY! SNIVELLY!" he shouted. "YOUR GIRLFRIEND WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU!"

Startled, Severus dropped his fork and looked between Lily and James with round eyes. He looked pale and terrified. Everyone was looking between Severus, Lily, and James curiously, eager to see the scene play out. Severus stood from the Slytherin table and strode from the Great Hall with his head down. His ears were unmistakably red.

"You both are arrogant toerags!" Lily shouted at James and Sirius, her expression showing every sign of deep dislike.

She ran after her friend, leaving James rather annoyed.

Lupin shook his head. "You should've left her alone. She's not going to like you at this rate, James."

"Touchy today, are we, Moony?" Sirius said smoothly. He leaned across the table and lowered his voice so only Lupin would hear his next words. "Don't worry, I don't take it too personally. I suspect your monthly cycle is close."

Lupin glowered at him.

"Lighten up, Moony," Sirius said exasperatedly. "It was just a joke."

"You're not as clever as you two think you are," Lupin coldly berated. "Get over yourselves."

Lupin stood from the Gryffindor table and left, marking the end of the conversation.

"What is it with him these days?" Sirius muttered bitterly, elbowing James in the ribs. "He can't even take a simple joke. I reckon we're doing Evans a favor, anyway."

* * *

><p>Severus was gone by the time Lily reached the Entrance Hall. She guessed he went to hide in the Slytherin common room. She ran up the many flights of stairs until she reached her dorm room. Maybe she could send him a note and persuade him to meet her somewhere. The idea was tempting, but she was growing tired of chasing him. Anytime anything bad happened, Severus went into hiding and pretended the world didn't exist. That wasn't any way to deal with life's problems. It was exhausting trying to console someone who was keen on pushing any form of help away. Perhaps the best approach would be to find out what Mary knew of the situation and go from there. At this point, Lily was completely in the dark.<p>

Mary entered the dormitory an hour later, along with Katie and Marlene. They all wanted to know what had happened, but Lily wasn't comfortable talking openly with Marlene in earshot. She had the tendency to gossip more than Mary, which was saying something.

"Did you _really _snog Snape behind the greenhouses?" Katie pressed in a mixture of disbelief and awe.

"_What?_" Lily scoffed, blushing furiously. "Severus and I have done no such thing."

"I heard you gave him a pair of your knickers," Marlene giggled, "and he keeps them in his pocket for good luck."

"Why would I do that?" Lily asked. Her voice trembled with hurt and rage.

"People are spreading false rumors based on what happened today," Mary explained carefully. She obviously knew a few things she wasn't willing to divulge. Lily would have to prod her about it later when she the other girls were asleep.

"People reckon you gave your knickers to him so he could replace his old, gray ones," Marlene continued, still smiling. Lily wanted to slap her.

"That's disgusting!" she exclaimed. "People need to grow up. I wish I knew what happened so I could talk to Severus. He can be so stubborn sometimes."

She looked at Mary pointedly, hoping her friend would take the hint.

"Honestly," Mary said, "I don't blame him. I'm tired of talking about this, though. What are you doing over the Christmas holiday?"

It was unusual for Mary to not be in the mood to gossip, but Lily figured she felt different since the rumors revolved around a friend. In any case, she didn't want to talk about it either. It was making her sick. She couldn't fathom how people could be so cruel. The four girls talked about the upcoming Christmas holiday, exams, insufferable teachers, and plans to get together over the summer, until it was time for bed. Katie and Marlene were changing into their pajamas when Lily decided it was time to act.

"I'm going to the loo," she said, heading for the door. "Mary, want to come with?"

"No thanks," Mary declined cheerily, oblivious to the signals Lily was sending her. "I don't have to pee."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked. "You never know with that kind of thing. Sometimes you have to go without even realizing it."

Mary glanced up from her book and noticed Lily's raised eyebrows. She mouthed: _I need to talk to you. _

"Oh!" Mary exclaimed, leaping off the bed. "I _do _need to use the loo. It just hit me like lightening!"

Lily smacked her forehead as she waited for her friend to slip on her slippers. They left the room and headed for the girl's lavatory.

"What's this all about?" Mary asked, perplexed.

"I need you to tell me what happened with Severus," Lily said. "You seemed like you were holding back in front of Katie and Marlene."

"I know what happened," Mary admitted. "Was I there? Yes. Did I do anything to stop it? No. It was a mess, Lily. Even Filch was hesitant to intervene. Look, I'll help you to separate the fact from fiction but nothing more. I'll leave the rest of it up to Snape when you two finally get around to talking."

Lily was tempted to argue but didn't. "Alright," she said. "The beginning is always a good place to start."

Mary opened the door to the girl's lavatory and both of them entered. They made sure no one was in the stalls before locking the door. Mary sat on the countertop by the sinks.

"Well," she said, "it all began with Peeves and a very ugly pink book."

_A/N: This chapter was long (at least by my standards), so I decided to split it in two. The second half should be posted soon. My semester ended a few days ago so now I have a lot of free time to write. I'm sorry if I haven't replied to some of your messages/reviews. I will get around to it tonight, I promise. Thank you for those who have reviewed, added the story to their favorites, or added it to their story alerts. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think!_


	9. Confessions

_**Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches**_

Severus stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Even though it was midnight, he had locked the door in case someone happened to wander in. He was preparing his big speech to Lily and the last thing he needed was an audience.

"Lily," he began, pretending his reflection was a girl with red hair (and feeling quite ridiculous.) "I need to tell you something I should've said a long time ago."

_Ugh. That sounds idiotic. _

He rubbed his face wearily and cleared his throat. He needed to be confident, smooth, and charmingly indifferent - all of which he didn't know how to do. If Lily thought he could take or leave her, it would be easy to go back to the way things were when he quietly longed for her and she was blissfully unaware, in case tomorrow didn't go over well.

_I'm not a coward, _he repeated for the hundredth time that night. _I can do this. _

Studying his reflection, he turned his nose in the air and tried to curl his mouth into a cross between a sneer and a smirk. He slightly raised one eyebrow.

_I look like I have a stick up my ass. _

"Hello, Lily," he said to the mirror. "Yes, the rumors are true. I _do _fancy you. There are other attractive girls at this school, though. So I wouldn't feel too flattered. I wouldn't want anything to come between our – _bugger. _Ugh, no."

Would it be better if he simply told the truth in its entirety? If there was a chance she felt something, anything at all, it would be unwise to act like a prat.

_What would I say, though? That she's gorgeous, intelligent, and funny? That I want us to procreate? That she's my all-time favorite ginger person? Well, I suppose it's a start._

He figured he could improvise a little after gauging how much Lily knew of the situation. If she already knew he liked her and didn't return his feelings, she might not want to talk to him at all, or would tell him upfront. He would also have to remind himself that this was Lily, his best friend of nearly eight years. He could tell her anything. He always had been able to before, so why worry?

At any rate, he was tired of talking to himself and was in deep need of sleep. Severus rubbed his tired eyes, looking forward to the day all of his romantic pains would be a thing of the past. His life story was enough to make anyone go bald. When he returned to his dormitory, he collapsed on his bed, instantly asleep.

* * *

><p>Lily scanned the Slytherin table for Severus at breakfast the following morning, as she entered the Great Hall. He was nowhere to be found.<p>

"Have you seen Severus?" Lily whispered to Mary as she seated herself at the Gryffindor table on the opposite end of the room.

"I haven't seen any sign of him," she answered. "Be patient. He can't hide forever, can he?"

Lily shrugged glumly. _He might try, _she thought. She helped herself to buttered toast and a serving of fried tomatoes, deciding it was better to put it out of her mind, though she couldn't help but notice his absence continue through to the end of breakfast.

"He's got to eat sometime, hasn't he?" Lily huffed, staring at the entrance to the Great Hall as if she could summon him with her mind.

"Patience isn't your strong suit, is it?" Mary smirked. Her nose was buried inside a copy of the _Daily Prophet _her owl had dropped off earlier. She folded it and laid it neatly on the table."C'mon, let's go upstairs and get our stuff so we won't be late for Herbology. You'll see him later, I promise."

Mary and Lily left the Great Hall together and climbed the many stairs to their dormitory to gather their books and cloaks. As they traveled back downstairs, a hand shot out of nowhere, startling Lily by grasping her gently by the wrist. She turned around to find herself face-to-face with Severus. The unkempt, recently-slept-on appearance of his hair made him look a bit disheveled. They each talked at the same time.

"I've been looking for you –," Lily began.

"We need to talk –," Severus said.

Lily laughed nervously.

"You first," Severus said. His black eyes were trained on her pale face anxiously.

Behind them, Mary snuck away gleefully.

"I've been looking for you," Lily repeated, wringing her hands. "I tried to talk to you yesterday, but Potter was being an idiot. He seems to ruin everything, doesn't he?"

Severus raised his eyebrows in a subtle gesture of agreement.

"I know you have class soon, but could you come with me instead?" he asked, lowering his voice. He stuffed his trembling hands in the pockets of his school robe. "I need to talk to you, preferably somewhere private."

"Can we meet after class? I have Herbology this period. You know what Professor Sprout is like when students are late to class. She _hates_ repeating herself."

"No," he said, scowling faintly. "It can't wait."

Lily sighed, wondering what had his wand in a knot. She hadn't done anything wrong, as far as she knew. "Fine," she replied. "We have to be quick, though."

_Fine by me, _he thought. _The quicker, the better. _

Severus nodded and turned on his heel. "Follow me," he said with a jerk of his head.

Lily jogged up the stairs after him and down a long, abandoned corridor on the third floor. It wasn't long before they stopped at a tall wooden door. Severus double-checked the hall to make sure no one was watching. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the rusty doorknob.

"_Alohomora," _he whispered.

Lily wondered why teachers bothered locking any of the doors when students were capable of unlocking them whenever they pleased.

Severus held the creaky door open for Lily and slipped in after her into the semi-darkness.

Lily drifted to the center of the abandoned classroom: dust-ridden desks, empty cages of varying sizes, and stacks of leafy textbooks were crammed against the farthest wall. A rusty _click _echoed through the vast room. Lily glanced over her shoulder, green eyes widening as she realized Severus had locked the door. A sense of apprehension washed over her. She figured it had to be something serious for him to be acting so odd. Mary had cryptically suggested the fight between him and the Marauders was over her, though details had been scarce. The last time Severus had used her as an excuse to fight, it had ended baldy – she hoped this wasn't the case.

"You sure are taking quite a few precautions," Lily commented, furrowing her brow.

Severus slipped his wand back inside his robe as he approached her. "I want to make sure we won't' be interrupted," he explained. His eyes darted skittishly around the room.

If they made eye contact, she would know instantly why they were there. It was hard to contain himself now that he was so close to letting the cat out of the bag, so to speak.

"Do you come here often?" she inquired, as her eyes traveled the expanse of the room.

The stone floor was stained blue, green, and gold from the high-paned stained glass windows that lined the back wall.

He watched as she meandered over to the stacks of old textbooks piled on the desks. He could study her freely while she wasn't looking.

"Sometimes," he shrugged. "There are plenty of unused classrooms here at school. It's a nice place to come to be alone."

"It's peaceful here," she said, lifting the cover of a textbook. The spine cracked. "I like it; shame on you for not telling me about it sooner! We could've made it our secret hideout."

"It's not too late," he shrugged, mouth twisting in a small smile in spite of the waves of panic rolling in his stomach. "We have a year-and-a-half left to go."

_If this goes well, we could spend that year-and-a-half in our secret hideout snogging, _he mused.

Lily glanced at her companion with an idea on her lips when she realized he was staring at her, and the intensity of his gaze made the words die on her tongue.

Severus dropped his eyes quickly to the floor, as she turned away and inconspicuously felt the warmth in her cheeks.

"Mary told me what happened yesterday between you, James, and Sirius," she blurted in her haste to change the subject. She traced circles in the dust that had accumulated on the desktops.

She sensed Severus's hesitation. "She did?" he said tensely.

"Yeah," Lily continued. "She said the fight was over a stupid book. Was it really worth getting your nose broken over, Sev?"

The twinkle in her eyes as she risked a glance at him convinced him of her ignorance to his feelings, which was a huge relief but still didn't make the task at hand any less daunting.

Severus licked his dry lips. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. He took a step forward, silently attempting to encourage himself to have one moment of bravery rather than a lifetime of cowardice and regret. Lily watched as the distance closed between their feet, until she was forced to look up into his thin, sallow face. The height difference between them was a little intimidating but thrilling at the same time. At this point, she was incredibly late for Herbology but she figured she could skip it altogether. She and Severus hadn't spent quality time together since their trip to Hogsmeade, and she sensed her friend was in need of some love.

Lily was dying to know what Severus wanted to tell her. He hadn't brought it up yet, as if he was holding back.

"You're probably wondering why I brought you here," he said suddenly, as if he had been reading her mind.

"Yeah," she nodded, folding her arms. "You actually have me a little worried. What's up?"

"It's-it's nothing you have to worry about," he reassured. _I have more to worry about than you do._ "It was more of a question I had, anyway."

"Alright," Lily nodded, bright-eyed. "Ask away."

Severus paused, wiped his sweaty hands on his robe, and reached for her hands, slipping his fingers through hers. Lily noticed they were trembling, and his face and ears were brick red. A million thoughts swam through her head at the same time. Strongest of all was the image of Mary shaking her finger and chriping, "_I told you so," _over and over again.

"Is this making you uncomfortable?" he asked hoarsely.

Lily shook her head fervently. "Not at all!" she exclaimed. "Go on."

Her enthusiasm certainly helped.

"We've been friends for a long time. Best friends," he began.

Lily nodded, urging him on. She vagueld felt like a bobble-head. Her heart was thudding in her ears.

"I've always loved you – I mean, I've always loved _having _you as my friend but sometimes – ah – well, I – it can be hard having a pretty best friend, especially when she's also kind, funny, and talented. It's hard to not end up fancying her like every other bloke, and wanting more. So my question is: could you ever see us being _more _than friends?"

Severus's thumb inadvertently rubbed circles on the soft skin of Lily's palm.

Lily stared at him with her mouth open. "Oh," was all she could muster.

"You-you don't have to say 'yes'. It wouldn't bother me if you said 'no'," Severus reassured her miserably, losing faith quickly. It was so uncomfortable standing there exposed before her and all she could do was gape. "We can just be friends – if you want. I mean. If-if you want to be more than friends, I'd be more than happy to – what I mean to say is –."

Lily brought an end to his babbling with a kiss.

She stood on tiptoe with her hands gently touching either side of Severus's face. The feel of her lips and hands on him made it difficult to think. He had no clue where to put his hands. They felt her shimmering hair, her petite shoulders, and her long neck before settling on her waist. It felt so good to touch her like this…

The kiss was soft, sweet, warm, and way too short.

Lily pulled away abruptly. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and bit her lip.

Severus wanted to say something clever or romantic, or even pick her up and cover her face with kisses, but all he could manage was: "Woah."

Lily checked her watch.

"I need to go," she croaked, brushing past him.

Severus ran a hand through his unwashed hair as he watched her attempt to yank open the locked door.

"Oh, I forgot!" she laughed loudly, smacking her beet-red forehead.

As she busied herself with unlocking the door, Severus couldn't resist asking, "Was that a yes?"

Lily beamed at him from the open doorway.

"It was definitely a yes," she said.

And then she was gone.

Severus struggled to breathe.

He traced his lips with his finger in a daze. Kissing felt different than he had imagined it.

It was better, in fact.

Lily's lips were soft and plush, like two pillows. The thought of them set his insides on fire. He worried his lips were too thin or dry for her liking. If he had foreseen the kiss, he would've done a little preliminary research on the sort of things girls liked. _Either way, _she _kissed _you – _what is there to complain about?_

He couldn't wait to see the look on James Potter's face when he found out he, Severus Snape, had been kissed by _the _Lily Evans.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or added this story to their alerts/favorites. I'm looking forward to what you think of this chapter, since the cat is officially out of the bag. Also, I've considered making some changes to this story. In chapter five, Snape and Dumbledore talked about how someone had been contacting Snape about things that would happen in the future, or whatever. I haven't brought it up since then because I've really struggled with planning out that aspect of the story. All of my ideas seem really far-fetched and would take away from the romance and lightheartedness. Originally, I intended to have the focus be on Snape's and Lily's relationship, but sometimes I have this need to make things more complicated. What are your thoughts, dear readers? If I don't use the idea for this story, I'd like to use it for another one. _


	10. A Newly Shed Light

_**Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches**_

_A/n: Sorry for the delay in update. I started school at the beginning of January, and have been hitting the homework pretty hard (to the point where I've been obsessed.) I failed a class last semester, partly due to my preference to write this story. So updates may not be as frequent over the next few months, but once my spring semester ends in mid-April I'll have loads of time to write. I've decided to go through with my decision to rewrite the fifth chapter, which won't have a significant impact on how the story is currently developing. I'm really happy a lot of you seemed to enjoy the last chapter. The last few chapters have been hard for me to write since I've been going through a writing funk, but all of your reviews/alerts/favorites motivated me to work past it. I wrote this chapter specifically for Valentine's Day, so there is a lot of unabashed romance. Now on with the story! _

Lily untangled her legs from her bed sheets, and fell against her pillow with a heavy sigh. Even though it was midnight, she was abuzz with a torrent of thoughts and feelings concerning a particular Slytherin boy. The kiss they had shared earlier that day, simple and chaste as it was, had triggered a wonderful explosion in her entire being. Perhaps it was the fact she and Severus had been close friends for so long or that he had begun to reconsider his future as a Death Eater, or maybe it was the expression of immense vulnerability he had worn as he'd confessed his feelings – either way, Lily had felt a sudden, intense desire to kiss him and now she could no longer deny that she fancied the-one-and-only Severus Snape.

In her stomach, Lily felt a wave of excitement and terror. She felt apprehensive over what might happen between them at the Slug Club Christmas Party or even at her house over winter holiday, and although she was ashamed to admit, she was also a little worried of what others would think of her feelings for Severus. Suddenly, it became all too easy to dwell upon his greasy hair, uneven teeth, the twitchy way he walked, or the raw acne that marred his cheeks and forehead. Puberty had not been kind to her friend. _It doesn't matter what other people think, _she told herself. _He's my best friend. And for whatever strange reason, I like him. If someone has a problem with that, they can sod off. _

Severus wasn't her first kiss, but he certainly was better than Derek Vega, a dreadful Ravenclaw boy who had claimed her virgin lips under a sprig of mistletoe at Slughorn's Christmas Party in fourth year. She had expected Derek to kiss her on the cheek, but he had plunged his tongue down her throat instead. Severus had pushed Derek off her and told him to leave her alone, so furious that spit had flown from his mouth. At the time, Lily thought he was simply being a protective friend, but now… A lot of things were beginning to make sense in this newly-shed light.

She curled into a ball on her bed as her stomach twisted in knots. She had Transfigurations with him the following day. She would see him, would probably even have to talk to him. The thought thrilled and terrified her simultaneously.

* * *

><p>In the dungeons, Severus lay awake on his bed, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling of his green canopy, his left hand idly stroking his stomach. He closed his eyes, and red hair and an expanse of pale skin played on the inside of his eyelids. It was two in the morning and he was wide awake, thinking of Lily and replaying the day in his head. Severus had seen her chatting with Mary at the Gryffindor table at lunch and dinner, but he hadn't had the opportunity to talk to her after their kiss. He had planned to wait for her by the portrait of the Fat Lady after dinner, but his nerves had overcome him and he'd found sanctuary in the library instead.<p>

It felt wonderfully surreal to have told her of his feelings and to also be rid of _Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches. _He reckoned it was a good thing Peeves had stolen the book after all; otherwise, he would still be figuring out a way to do what he had just done that morning. He felt so free and weightless; it was amazing how one secret weighed so much. The only problem was, he had no clue what to do next. Were they together now? Would everything change or would they be the same, except with more touching and snogging?

He wouldn't mind doing more of that. Not one bit.

In fact, the memory of their first kiss was beginning to grow foggy and what he sorely needed was a good, long reminder.

He had Transfigurations with Lily the following morning, but he couldn't wait to talk to her. The anticipation was killing him slowly. Severus slipped off his bed and rummaged through his school bag for the little black book Lily had given him for his birthday. He grabbed a quill, a pot of ink, and his wand, and sat on his bed with the curtains closed and the book lying open in his lap.

"_Lumos!" _he said softly. The tip of his wand glowed softly.

He dipped his quill in his ink.

_Are you awake? _he wrote.

The tiny, cramped handwriting glistened in the white light emitting from his wand. His message slowly faded and a few minutes later, Lily's handwriting appeared on the page.

_Yes. I can't sleep. What are you doing up so late?_

_Studying, _Severus quickly wrote.

_Me too, _she wrote.

Severus paused and thought for a long moment. What should he say? His mind was blank.

_So… _Lily wrote.

_I can't stop thinking about you, _Severus wrote and immediately scribbled it out. _Did you try the roast at dinner? _he wrote instead.

_No, was it good?_

_Yes, very._

Severus rubbed his head. So far their conversation was stilted and terrible and he knew he needed to relax, but he didn't know how.

_I can't stop thinking about you, _he wrote again, taking the plunge. _I know that's what all the blokes say in rubbish Muggle movies, but it's true._

He leaned against his headboard, heart pounding. She responded almost immediately.

_I've been thinking about you a lot too, _she wrote.

He grinned, feeling a renewed surge of excitement and hope.

_You have? _He asked.

_Yeah. Where are things supposed to go from here, do you know?_

_No. I was hoping you would, though. _

_I suppose we have time to figure it out, _she wrote after a long moment. _We're spending Christmas together in Cokeworth, after all. _

Severus's stomach flipped at the prospect of staying in Lily's house when they returned home for the holiday. Not only would it just be the two of them again, the way he liked it best, he wouldn't have to see his parents again until June.

_Did you like – _he hesitated and mulled over his next words – _kissing me? _He scribbled the last two words hastily, as though ashamed to be putting his thoughts down on paper. He was surprised by his boldness, though he reckoned it was easier since they weren't face-to-face.

_Yes, _she wrote. Her response seemed hesitant, as well. _Did you like kissing me?_

_Yes, _he wrote, growing warm. _Very much. I'd like to kiss you again, if that's alright. _

He wiped his sweaty palms on his pajama pants and eagerly awaited her response. He watched the blank page greedily, ready to engulf her words as soon as they appeared. It seemed to take forever for her to write back.

_We should try it again, _Lily wrote. _Perhaps longer next time?_

Severus's eyes widened. _Indeed, _he scribbled. _When?_

Severus was willing to sneak out of bed and climb up to Gryffindor Tower right now if she wanted.

_Surprise me, _she wrote. _I should go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow, Sev. _

_See you, _he wrote, disappointed that she had to leave so soon, yet excited by her invitation. _Can't wait, _he added a moment later, relishing in his newfound bravery.

* * *

><p>"Snape!" Professor McGonagall's crisp voice rang exasperatedly through the chilly Transfigurations classroom, rousing Severus from his stupor. "Will you please close your mouth before you catch another fly and <em>pay attention?"<em>

He tore his eyes away from Lily who was busy taking notes and focused his attention on Professor McGonagall, whose austere face was sharp with agitation. He was acutely aware of the many pairs of eyes that were now on him, burning his skin from every direction, including Lily's who had only spared him a half-smile since she walked into class. A few students sniggered and fought to keep straight faces. Lily gave him a questioning look, which he pointedly ignored.

"Sorry, Professor," Severus mumbled, ears turning pink. He slouched in his seat as Professor McGonagall carried on with her lecture.

It was very hard to focus on schoolwork with Lily in the same room. He pretended to be invested in that day's lesson, but his mind was still far away. He kept thinking about different places he could take Lily where they would be alone, and he could kiss her to his heart's content_. _As long as they had been friends, Severus had been forced to come up with clever ways to contain his attraction, which wasn't easy considering he was a teenager with certain parts of his anatomy that acted of its own free will. After waiting so long, to finally have a taste of victory, he was growing quite vehement.

When the bell tolled, signaling the end of class, Severus quickly gathered his belongings and waited by the door for Lily. Lily blushed as she and Mary neared him.

"I'll see you at lunch," she told Mary, and they exchanged good-byes before Mary ran off to join two other giggling Gryffindor girls.

"Severus," she greeted with a nod. The smallest trace of a smile graced her lips.

"Lily," he nodded, stoic as usual. He shifted his feet awkwardly. "I have a free period before lunch, and I was wondering if you'd like to join me in the library?"

"Sure," she nodded, twisting the strap of her bag anxiously. "I'll meet you there at ten o'clock."

"See you then," he said with his hands buried deeply in the pockets of his school robe.

Lily smiled knowingly as she brushed past. Severus turned to watch her walk away, admiring the way the sun reflected on her hair.

* * *

><p>Severus was already reading quietly at their table in the library when Lily arrived. A pile of heavy books rested beside his elbow, as usual. He was bent over a large book with his hooked nose inches from the yellowing page, his overlong hair framing his sallow face.<p>

"Sorry I'm late," she said as she pulled a chair out from under the table and sat down beside him.

"S'okay," he said, eyeing her as she pulled a book from her bag. "You haven't missed much. What have you got there?"

Lily lifted it up for him to see. Severus grabbed it and squinted at the cover.

On the cover, two half-naked people were practically shagging.

"The _Enchanted _series?" he grimaced. "Don't tell me you like these books."

"Mary leant it to me," Lily explained hastily. She snatched the book from his grasp and hid it under the table."She insists I read all sorts of books. This one is about a Muggle man who falls in love with a witch, but he doesn't find out until the end. It's quite good, actually. The cover doesn't do it justice."

"Right," Severus smirked.

"What are you reading?" she asked, gently prodding his book.

"I'm reading a book about Sir Earnest Leigh Archibald," he said, pointing to a picture of a man who strongly resembled a turtle. "He was a famous scholar in the 1600s. He was the first wizard to successfully teach an Albanian troll to speak Greek _and _English."

"Aren't trolls really stupid, though?" Lily asked, skeptical.

"Exactly," Severus said. "No one knows how he managed it. I suppose it took him years, maybe even decades."

"Why would someone invest so much time in teaching a troll to speak a language?" Lily wondered.

Severus shrugged. "To say they did it? I don't know. Perhaps he thought education would liberate trolls from their – ah – stupidity, for lack of a better word."

"I've never heard of him before," Lily said and leaned toward Severus to get a better look at his book.

Under the table, their legs brushed. Severus tensed and let his hair fall forward, obscuring his face.

"I hadn't either, until today," Severus explained. "I was waiting for you and didn't have anything to read, so I started browsing through traveling guides for Wizarding Europe."

"Are you planning on traveling to Albania to educate trolls?" Lily teased.

"No," he shrugged, "but I might want to travel a bit after school."

"If you do decide to travel, you better take me with you," Lily said, poking him in the ribs.

"Of course I would take _you_," he replied, rubbing his side. "Most of these travel guides instruct witches and wizards on how to avoid trouble as they travel through foreign countries, such as encountering dangerous creatures and such. I, however, don't intend to avoid trouble at all. Some of the best ingredients for potion-brewing are in these countries. Since you happen to be the second-smartest person I know where potion-brewing is concerned, you would be quite useful."

Severus hoped he sounded impressive and brave by his willingness to take risks.

Lily rolled her eyes. "You fancy yourself the best at Potions, then?"

"Obviously," he said earnestly, raising a brow. "Professor Slughorn only _says _you're the best because you're a pretty girl."

Lily flushed. "Someone's jealous," she whispered as she opened her book and began to read.

It was just like old times, except the knowledge of his feelings seemed to hang in the air between them like a red banner. It was a huge relief to them both to have their friendship unaffected. Things were undoubtedly awkward, but not to the extent they had feared. There were still many things to sort out and questions to answer but for the time being, they were content to simply enjoy each other's presence.

As they quietly read side-by-side, Severus moved his hand under the table and rested it on Lily's wrist. With clammy, trembling fingers, he shifted her hand so it rested palm-up on her leg. He stroked her palm and the inside of her wrist, relishing in the softness of her skin. Lily was very surprised by this softer, romantic side of Severus. She would never have expected it from him, even though she knew he was capable of gentleness. She really liked this other side of him – she liked it a lot. She had read the same sentence in her book nearly thirty times, unable to concentrate on anything but his touch.

The quiet moment was ruined by a loud-mouthed student who subsequently entered the library. Severus glanced up to see who was making such a racket, scowling. James Potter stood a considerable distance from their table, chatting animatedly with a fellow Gryffindor. Madame Pince eyed them as though she was sharpening a dagger under her desk, and was ready to pounce at any moment. Severus watched James from the corner of his eye, noticing with relish that his eyes were trained on them.

He wondered if James could see Lily's hand entwined with his under the table. Unable to resist the temptation, Severus lifted her hand to his lips and let his mouth linger on her soft skin. Lily smiled, amused, and went pink again. He rested their hands upon the table, so there wouldn't be any room left in Potter's mind for doubt. He risked a glance at James who wore an unmistakably bitter expression. James turned away and disappeared behind a tall bookshelf.

Severus, mentally patting himself on the back for one-upping him, glanced at Lily. She was staring at him with narrowed eyes and pursed lips.

"Is something wrong?" he whispered. She'd seemed fine a second ago.

She tore her hand away from his.

"You couldn't resist showing off in front of Potter, could you?" she said, scowling.

He hesitated. "No," he replied cautiously.

Sometimes Lily was like a bomb, and the smallest thing could set her off.

Lily continued to glare at him.

"Lily, I don't understand why you're upset," he said honestly, keeping his voice low. "We show off in front of him all the time. It's never bothered you before."

"Things are different now," she hissed.

Severus shook his head, completely lost and frustrated. "What has changed? Enlighten me."

"_We _have changed, Severus," Lily whispered harshly. "Before I knew you fancied me, I didn't have a problem with standing up to James with you. Otherwise, I have _never _condoned or encouraged your ridiculous feud with him. The last thing I want is to be a contributing factor to that feud, and to be tossed around like a trophy between two witless Neanderthals!"

She slammed her book shut, grabbed her bag, and stalked out of the library. Severus quickly gathered his own belongings and went after her.

"How can you not expect me to show off?" Severus called after her in the corridor, sprinting to catch up. "He's tormented me for years simply for being your friend!"

Lily whirled around to face him.

"So the appropriate response is to dangle me in front of his face?" Lily retorted.

"No," Severus said emphatically, clutching his pounding head. "It's just … James Potter – arrogant, big-headed Quidditch hero – _everyone _loves him," he sneered, his agitation rendering him incoherent. "He fancies you and I fancy you and – what chance do I have against the infamous James Potter? I'm… nothing, and you're wonderful, and he thinks he's Merlin's gift to witches…"

Lily's eyebrows traveled upward. "Huh?"

Severus sighed heavily and looked at her intently. "All I'm trying to say is – I never thought I'd have a chance with you, and he's _always _made a fool of me in front of you to make my chances smaller. And now, finally, I can prove him wrong."

Now that Lily's temper had cooled, she felt quite stupid for making such a fuss. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know."

"I'm sorry too," he said, stepping forward. "I didn't mean to upset you. And in a lot of ways, things aren't any different than they were before. Your perception of things just changed, is all."

"Even though I understand your sentiments toward James better now, I _still _despise your feud with him and don't give you license to use me as a weapon in your battles against him," Lily said heatedly. "I won't encourage your feud. I never will. It's stupid, and I don't want to be in the middle of it."

Severus shook his head, feigning seriousness. "Typical Lily," he _tsked. _"Always needing to have the last word."

Lily half-smiled, though her green eyes flashed dangerously. "You two seriously need to find hobbies that don't involve trying to kill each other."

Now that she had brightened a little, Severus was inspired to do something bold.

"What, like this?" he quickly, nervously bent forward and kissed her.

When he pulled away, Lily opened her eyes and blinked several times, clearly startled. In a flash, she dropped her bag, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed her lips to his.

* * *

><p><em>AN: So this is technically not even half of the original chapter 10 I had intended to post today, which included Slughorn's Christmas party and the beginning of winter holiday. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to finish it all tonight (I was sorely disappointed about that because I thought the Christmas party would be perfect for Valentine's Day.) Anyway, it's nearly finished so I'll have it up by this weekend. I chose to post at least part of the chapter tonight because I had promised a few people I would update today. It may seem a little abrupt, but I hope you still enjoyed it. _

_P.S. I'm sorry I haven't been getting back to some of your messages very quickly. I've been really busy. I'll have time to reply to your e-mails within the next few days. _


	11. The Christmas Party pt 1

_**Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches**_

_A/N; Hello, dear readers. We meet again. I'm sorry for the long lapse in update. Also, I apologize to those of you who I have been corresponding with through private messages; I will reply to your messages within the next few days. _

_Some of you were curious as to why Lily reacted the way she did when Snape was showing her off in front of James. I included that scene because all of the female characters in the HP series seem to be written with feminist ideals, and I didn't think Lily would appreciate being in the middle of James's and Severus's feud, especially since she isn't a character that condones hatred or violence. In canon, Lily was always a sore spot between James and Severus; James was jealous of Severus's and Lily's friendship while they were friends and Severus was always worried she would end up developing feelings for James one day. In this story, Lily has just come to realize where she stands between them and the motivation behind a lot of their actions. I thought Lily would react badly to Severus flaunting her in front of James because she wants the romance and affection to come from a place of sincerity, not because he has 'won' her like a trophy. _

_We, as readers, know Severus is completely sincere and if I were him, I would flaunt her too; but I have always viewed Lily as being rather hot-tempered and a little brash with her words, so to me it seemed appropriate for her to overreact a little. I do not mean to suggest that I view a differing opinion as being invalid. I totally understand the reasoning behind your viewpoint of that scene being OOC and I enjoy reading your input. I just wanted to take time to explain the thought process behind that scene. Anyway, happy reading!_

* * *

><p>"Off snogging slimy Slytherin boys behind the Herbology greenhouses again, are we?" Mary speculated shrewdly as Lily waltzed into their dorm room looking flustered.<p>

"No," Lily shot back adamantly, giving her friend a burning look. "I was in the library studying."

Mary slid to the edge of her bed as Lily dumped her bag and schoolbooks on her nightstand. She flopped down on her bed and gave a great, heavy sigh.

"Long day?" Mary inquired.

"I suppose," Lily replied quietly. "It's been an odd week. It's like everything is changing all at once and my head is spinning like one of those spinning tops I played with as a child. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

"Yeah," Mary nodded, watching her friend in interest. "Why don't you fill me in? I missed you at lunch today."

"Severus fancies me," Lily whispered, more to herself than to her friend.

She still couldn't wrap her mind around it. In some ways, she still clung to her old vision of him as being the small, scraggly boy who wore the odd, smock-like shirt and too short jeans – the one who mysteriously popped out from behind a bush one day and called her a witch. It was weird and uncomfortable and a little embarrassing to suddenly view him as a potential boyfriend, but for some reason she liked it. She liked him and all of his eccentricities.

"You were right, Mary," Lily ambled on. "After all this time, you were actually right."

"You sound surprised," Mary sniffed, pretending to be miffed. "You should trust my underlying wisdom by now. When will you learn?"

Lily laughed and rolled over on her stomach and propped herself on one elbow.

"Why didn't you tell me? You knew about the letter and what it said. Why did you keep it a secret? That's not like you."

Mary crossed her arms and looked at Lily sidelong. "Oh, so just because I like some juicy gossip here and there, suddenly I'm incapable of keeping a secret?"

Lily gave her a knowing look.

"Oh, all right," Mary sighed and let her arms drop to her sides. "I really am terrible, aren't I? You know me better than anyone. Anyway, to answer your question: I didn't tell you because I feared for my life."

Lily raised a quizzical brow. "You feared for your life?" she repeated dryly.

"Yes," Mary nodded seriously and went on in a hushed, dramatic voice. "If Snape ever figured out I spilled the beans about his love letter, he would have murdered me in my sleep."

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed in alarm. "First of all, it _wasn't _a love letter and second, well… he probably wouldn't _murder _you; that's a bit dramatic, don't you think? However, he can be rather spiteful so he probably would slip one of his concoctions in your morning pumpkin juice or something."

Mary stared at Lily for a moment with a look of mild horror on her face. "Remind me again why you're friends with him? Never mind. Forget I asked. That's a dangerous road for us to go down," Mary said and gave her head a small shake as if she were a frustrated parent.

"By the way, it was definitely a love letter. It was… something else, let me tell you. Anyway, all joking aside, my main reason for letting Snape be the one to tell you he loves you is that I've been on your case a lot lately about you two being friends, and I've come to the conclusion that the best thing I can do is keep my nose out of your business."  
>"He never said he loved me," Lily argued, blushing. "We're just… trying things out and seeing where it goes."<p>

"You protest too much," Mary mused, squinting from behind her spectacles.

Lily threw her pillow across the room. Mary ducked and let it land softly on the floor behind her.

Lily rolled over and scooted to the edge of her bed.

"I really appreciate that, though," Lily said sincerely, regarding her friend with thoughtful eyes. "Keeping your nose out of my business, I mean. Even if you never get to a point where you truly like Severus, I'm happy I can confide in you about my relationship with him and that you trust me enough to make my own decisions."

Mary kicked back on her bed and adjusted her glasses, reclining against her pillows with a book in hand.

"Don't mention it," she said, looking rather smug in Lily's opinion.

She opened the book with every pretense of reading.

"So," she began matter-of-factly. "Have you two kissed yet?"

Lily buried her reddening face in her hands and groaned.

* * *

><p>The remainder of the week sped by relatively fast and before either Severus or Lily knew it, it was Saturday – or more importantly, it was the day of the Slug Club Christmas party. As the long awaited evening drew nearer, Severus decided to try something he didn't do often and that was taking a long, hot shower; although he soon discovered that shampoo and a bar of soap did very little to improve his ugliness. He combed his long hair, brushed his crooked teeth, tried to figure out a way to position his hair so it covered most of his acne (and gave up after five minutes), and changed into his best dress robes (a black one his mum had purchased from a second-hand shop in Diagon Alley for his first official dance in fifth year, in which he spent most of his time blindly laughing along with Mulciber's and Avery's weak attempts at humor as he snuck furtive glances at Lily as she danced with other boys.)<p>

He examined his reflection in the full-length mirror in his dorm room once he had finished getting ready. He sighed in resignation and muttered: "I suppose this is the best it will get," before leaving to meet Lily.

* * *

><p>Professor Slughorn's expensive taste for luxury had transformed the usually dank, bleak dungeons into a richly decorated chamber softly illuminated by an array of levitating Chinese Fireball lanterns. Fellow members of the Slug Club stood in clusters and danced around an elaborate fountain sculpted from marbled white chocolate; thick, milky chocolate drizzled from the fountain.<p>

Students passed a gilded ladle around to fill their goblets full of churned, frothing malt chocolate. Some students dipped anything they could get their hands on in the fountain: cauldron cakes, hickory smoked sausage, potato puffs, strawberry banana cheesecake bites, pumpkin pasties, and candy-coated apples. By the opposite wall where Professor Slughorn's desk usually sat, a long table draped in a shimmering gold tablecloth was on the verge of buckling under the weight of a heady assortment of steaming pots, trays, and baskets full of food.

With a bottle of Firewhisky in hand, Severus was examining a tray of refreshments that had short, spiky, wriggling tentacles when he felt a hand on his arm. He jumped and turned to see Lily standing behind him, simply glowing in loveliness. The white dress robes she wore complimented her soft curves and pale, freckled skin. Two small, sandaled feet peeked out from the hem of her long dress and glittered in the soft lantern light. Parts of her hair were pinned away from her face with little clips, while the rest was left to tumble down her shoulders and back in loose curls. His stomach lurched and suddenly his mouth felt incredibly dry. Severus cleared his throat and gestured to her outfit.

"That's new," he commented.

He appeared calm and collected but underneath it all, he was shaking

"Yeah, my mum sent it to me as an early Christmas present" she explained, looking down at her dress as well. She glanced back up at him with a small smile. "Do you like it?

Severus tore his eyes away from her dress and tried to maintain eye contact. Pursing his lips, he murmured a quiet, "Mmm-hmm."

While Severus was busy recollecting himself, Lily slowly turned in a full-circle to examine the party decorations.

"Wow," she said appraisingly. 'Professor Slughorn has really outdone himself this year."

Severus shrugged. "It's a little too busy for me," he said.

Lily faced him and regarded him with a knowing look.

"If you were in charge of planning a party, I would expect it to be dreary and dark with the lingering stench of formaldehyde in the air. And the only person you would invite is me, and we probably would spend time studying or reading."

Severus smirked and drew himself up to his full height.

"That may be so," he began, "but you're missing a key point. If I were in charge of a party, everything would be decorated in silver and green to remind everyone which house is best, particularly one brawny, red-haired, know-it-all Gryffindor."

Lily's mouth fell open. She stared at him for a moment, half-shocked and half-amused, as her mind busily tried to piece together a worthy comeback, though it was in vain.

She pointed at him and said in a hushed voice, "Alright, you win this one but I would watch your back if I were you."

Severus couldn't resist feeling a little smug. He cleared his throat again.

"Want one?" he offered stiffly, waving his hand jerkily toward the little creatures with wriggling tentacles.

"What in Merlin's name is_ that_?" she exclaimed in a mixture of curiosity and disgust, inching forward to get a better look.

"Slughorn's idea of exotic party favors, no doubt," Severus said dryly, curling his upper lip.

"Don't touch it," he advised, as Lily made to poke one of the slimy creatures with her forefinger. "I think it's still alive."

"I'll save myself a trip to the hospital wing and have a cauldron cake instead," Lily settled, plucking one from a silver tray. "Sometimes the path less traveled is best left that way."

She took an unceremoniously large bite out of her cauldron cake. Severus snorted softly.

"What?" she asked with her mouth full, spraying bits of cake as she spoke.

He shook his head. "Nothing. I just like that you're not lacquered over like other girls."

Lily tilted her head to the side. "What do you mean by that?"

Severus sipped his Firewhisky and winced, though he tried to hide it in order to impress her.

"You're not afraid to eat like a pig," he explained simply.

Lily grinned widely to show off her brown, chocolate-stained teeth.

"You like me because of the way I eat?" she said in a terrible American Western accent.

Her father loved to watch shows about cowboys and Indians on the telly, though Severus figured Lily hadn't partaken of them as often; otherwise, she would've sounded more like a human being than a diseased grindylow.

Severus gave her a stern look, which only made her smile wider. The corner of his mouth twitched and his eyes glittered strangely in the low light.

He leaned in and quietly, he said: "One of the reasons, yes."

Lily blushed prettily and Severus quickly broke eye contact and swallowed more Firewhisky to calm his nerves. He hoped the drink would relax him to the point of asking her to dance. Usually, Severus refused to dance under any circumstance; but tonight would be different because for the second time in his young life, he would cease to be a coward.

The one time Lily and Severus had danced together was the summer before third year. Lily had received a record player from her parents as a welcome home present and naturally, she dragged Severus along to dance with her in her bedroom when it was too hot to play outside or the little clearing by the river was swarmed with mosquitos. Actually, come to think of it, she had done most of the dancing. Severus had merely stood there, swaying rigidly from side to side, as Lily had whipped around the room, flipping her hair like a disco queen, her off-tune voice eclipsing those of ABBA and the Bee Gees. Severus had finally drawn the line at learning to do the Hustle, insisting he would be perfectly content to watch her from his perch on her bed.

"You look nice too, by the way," Lily said in between small bites of cauldron cake, interrupting his train of thought.

Severus stared at her blankly. "What?"

"You look nice tonight," she repeated in equal measures of flirtation and uncertainty. She flashed him a smile for good measure.

Severus blinked. "You don't have to do that," he said.

It was Lily's turn to be taken aback. "Do what?" she asked.

"Just because I complimented you, doesn't mean you have to return the favor," he explained in earnest. "I've looked in the mirror before; I know what I look like. Not even you can fool me."

Lily looked sad and mildly affronted. "What if I were being honest?" she retorted lightly.

Severus scoffed and crossed his arms. "I doubt it," he said as he looked down his hawk-like nose at her. "You're kind to everyone, even Peeves."

Lily stepped back and placed her free hand on her hip.

"Well, look how far being nasty to Peeves has gotten you," she said. "At least he doesn't pelt me with water balloons at three in the morning. You should learn to take a few compliments here and there. Merlin forbid, they might make you a little less grouchy!"

Severus opened his mouth, ready to protest, but Lily was quicker; she stuffed the remainder of her cauldron cake in his mouth to keep him quiet.

"And for the record," she said, crossing her arms and looking him pointedly in the eye, "maybe I like the way you look."

At that moment, a jolly voice boomed from behind them, startling them both. Severus choked on the cauldron cake.

It seemed for the time being, Lily had won both the battle and the war but he would not let her escape so easily; he still had a lot of questions he needed answers to and writhing uncertainties that needed her assurance.

"Oh ho, there you are my star pupils!"

Professor Slughorn suddenly wedged himself between them like an over-excited rhinoceros. In one unsteady hand, he clutched a crystal wine glass filled to the brim with a dark, elf-made wine. The redness of his face and his bleary-eyed grin indicated that it wasn't the first glass he'd had that night and certainly wouldn't be the last.

"So happy you could make it," he hiccupped, swaying slightly. "You could never know… you don't know how much it means to me…."He waved his pudgy arm dramatically through the air, sloshing his wine.

"Careful!" Lily said, quickly grabbing Professor Slughorn's arm to stabilize him. "Professor, perhaps you should sit down… I think you've had too much to drink…"

"Nonsense!" he hiccupped, waving her off. "The party has just begun! Oh, my Lily. My Lovely Lily, you are so good… so kind to your dear, old professor…"

Severus deftly snatched Professor Slughorn's wine glass and spilled the contents into the pot of the nearest decorative plant. He replaced the empty wine glass in the professor's hand without him ever realizing its absence. Professor Slughorn clapped Lily jovially on the back, and then promptly turned to Severus.

"And you, my boy," he said, firmly clasping the back of Severus's neck and staring blearily into his thin, sallow face. "The best Potions student I've ever had… Brilliant, you are…"

Severus glanced over the professor's bald head at Lily, fighting to withhold his smirk. Just then, without warning, Professor Slughorn reeled Severus in by the neck and laid a smacking kiss on his cheek. Severus stumbled backward, horror-struck. Without another word, Professor Slughorn ambled away into the thick crowd. A portly boy in chocolate-stained, canary yellow robes bounced off Professor Slughorn's round belly as he brushed past.

Severus stared daggers at the professor's retreating form and roughly wiped his cheek with the sleeve of his robe.

"Was that necessary?" he muttered, sour-faced.

Lily looked after Professor Slughorn, concerned yet also amused.

"D'you think he's all right?" she asked, wincing as he tripped on the hem of his robe and rolled to the floor.

Severus felt inclined to state the obvious.

"He's completely pissed," he replied, as Regulus Black and his silver-haired date helped him clamber to his feet.

"D'you think we should keep an eye on him, in case he feels inclined to gallop through the castle stark naked?" she whispered with a mischievous grin.

Severus groaned audibly and buried his face in his hands.

"Lily," he pleaded.

"What?" she shrugged, innocent as can be.

He uncovered his face and scowled at her. Lily nearly choked on her suppressed laughter. Severus promptly turned on his heel and began to walk away.

"Where do you think you're going?" she called after him incredulously.

"I need to wash my face," he said.

Lily chuckled and settled her gaze on the boy in chocolate-stained, canary yellow robes lying comatose on the floor; apparently, he'd had a little too much fun with the chocolate fountain that evening. Her eyes wandered to the dance floor and she wondered if Severus planned on asking her to dance. Knowing him, he could have a ball simply standing beside the snack table, making fun of everyone else at the party, so it seemed unlikely that he would. However, the night was young and Severus seemed to be full of surprises lately.

Lily didn't have too much time to dwell on these thoughts for an all-too-familiar voice breathed huskily into her ear: "Hello, my turtle dove. We meet again."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thus concludes part one of the Slug Club Christmas party extravaganza. The second part is nearly finished and should be posted within a week. I hope you enjoyed this latest installment and that you are all doing well! _

_P.S. I may be a few years off with the timing of music groups like ABBA and the Bee Gees and the Hustle song/dance, but I couldn't resist including them. _


	12. The Christmas Party pt2

_**Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches**_

* * *

><p>Lily whirled around to face James. Despite the scowl she wore, she looked pretty. Very, <em>very <em>pretty.

"All right, Evans?" he greeted, casually rumpling his hair. He subtly flexed his Quidditch player muscles as he did so, trying to make it seem unintentional, as if he were Merlin's gift to witches by nature.

She crossed her arms and glared up at him with those stunning green eyes of hers.

"What are _you _doing here," she spat. "I thought Professor Slughorn only invited intelligent students to participate in the Slug Club."

_Ouch. _For her information, James had earned rather high marks on his O.W.L.'s; but that was beside the point. Why Professor Slughorn had failed to include the school's best Quidditch player in his collection of favorites remained a mystery.

"A girl invited me as her date," he replied smugly, wanting her to see that he was capable of fancying girls aside from her.

Lily raised a brow. "I couldn't imagine any girl wanting to be your date."

James drew himself up more to conceal the hurt her words inflicted. Not that he didn't deserve it. He understood why she fostered bad feelings towards him. He didn't want her to hate him. He cared about her. If only she didn't insist on hanging round that greasy Slytherin bloke.

"It's true," he said, leveling his hazel gaze squarely on hers.

Every girl James knew of melted at the sight of his windblown hair and confident, kick-back manner; except for Lily. She was the exception to everything, it seemed. Why did he even care about a girl who refused to give him the time of day? There were plenty of other girls at Hogwart's who would willingly fall into his arms. Perhaps it was because Lily was more of a challenge; other girls made it too easy. All he had to do was say hello to them in passing and he already had them wrapped around his finger.

Lily was an ever-elusive golden Snitch.

Perhaps it was the vivid color of her hair, vibrant in the autumn sunlight, or the way her uniquely green eyes pierced him every time she looked his way. Perhaps it was because she was the only girl who had the guts to stand up to him and call him out on his weak points, or because of her cheeky sense of humor. Ever since they accidently brushed fingers in Charms fourth year, James had felt weak in the stomach and shaky and stupid anytime Lily was around. Ever since that day, James had felt a renewed surge of hatred for Snivellus.

And anytime he saw them together, he went on self-destruct mode, dashing any chances he may have had with her against a stone wall.

"Who?" she asked out of curiosity, losing some of the intensity of her scowl – the one she reserved for him alone.

James fought back a victorious grin, misinterpreting her simple curiosity as concealed interest.

"It isn't really any of your business, Evans," he said teasingly. "Why, did you come alone? Were you looking for an escort? It's not too late if you're interested. One arm may be taken but the other is at your disposal."

Lily turned red and balled her fists and for a moment, James worried she would start pelting him with cauldron cakes or toss a goblet of pumpkin juice in his face.

Lily pointed a finger at his chest. She was on the verge of delivering a heated verbal lashing, until they were intercepted by a dark, lanky figure.

James resisted the urge to roll his eyes and sighed. "Get lost, Snivellus," he said, contempt dripping from every word. "Can't you see Evans and I are busy?"

Severus gently touched Lily's forearm.

"You're the one who should get lost," he retorted, staring daggers. "You're bothering _my _date."

"Oh?" James said as if he hadn't already known. "How did you manage that, Snivellus – a love potion or a dark spell, perhaps? You would know all about that sort of thing."

Severus's breathing grew erratic and his fists balled so tightly, his knuckles turned white. He quickly reached inside his shabby dress robes for his wand and James reached for his, as well. Lily gripped Severus's arm, halting him mid-action.

"For your information, James," she began icily, "I came with Sev of my own free will."

Severus eyed James's red and gold dress robes with a sneer.

"You might want to leave before you're late for the next Quidditch match, _Potter."_

Lily whipped her head around to look at her friend. "Severus," she pleaded. "Let it go, please."

James branched the distance between him and Severus and drew himself up to his full height, puffing out his chest like a proud lion.

He regarded Severus's simple black dress robes. "You might want to run along and find Filch. He lost his cleaning rag earlier, but now I see you've fashioned it to your liking. Don't worry; I'll keep your date company while you're away."

Severus lunged at James, hands clawing for his neck. Lily quickly slipped between them and placed her hands on Severus's chest, pushing him backward.

"_Stop it_!" she hissed.

She glanced around at the party, and her face flushed at the realization that other students were watching them: some curious as to what was going on, others apprehensive, and the rest a multitude of eager eyes ready to witness a violent row.

"You're lucky you have Evans here to fight all your battles for you," James goaded cockily.

Severus darted out of Lily's way, whipped out his wand, and aimed it at James's feet. _"Tarantallegra!" _he shouted.

Within a split second, James's feet began sashaying, his legs twisting and bending in ways he never thought possible. Lily's lips twitched as she watched him dance uncontrollably, struggling to maintain her expression of disapproval. Severus stood back and witnessed the spectacle, arms crossed, wearing only a self-satisfied smirk and a glint in his eye. People laughed and pointed as James performed an intricate tap dance in the center of the dance floor. They formed a circle around him and cheered him on, chanting his name the way his supporters did in the stands at Quidditch games; although the crowd surrounding him at the moment were either cheering because they were for him or because they were deliberately mocking him.

Severus snatched Lily's hand and whispered close to her ear: "C'mon, let's get out of here."

She gaped at him with wide, surprised eyes. "What about the party?"

He shrugged. "Forget about the party. We should go have our own Christmas party somewhere else."

Lily blinked and furrowed her brow. Taking a step back, she said: "Alright, who are you and what have you done with Severus Snape?"

He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's probably the Firewhisky," he reasoned, "but you should take advantage of me while I'm in this state now before it wears off, and I resume being the surly, formaldehyde-sniffing Slytherin you have reluctantly come to know and love."

Lily studied him with a ghost of a smile, and then glanced over her shoulder. "What about Potter?" she inquired, hands on hips. "Aren't you going to return him to normal?"

Severus's eyes narrowed as he watched James dancing on the other side of the room, his thin mouth slowly curling into a wicked smile. "Nah," he said. "His head could use a bit of deflating, I think."

"You're terrible," she reprimanded. "I should slap you."

Lily grudgingly glanced back at James again and for one brief moment, allowed herself to giggle at the expense of another person – but only this once.

She allowed Severus to take her hand and they slipped away, unnoticed by all.

* * *

><p>Old, stuffy aristocrats and scholars snoozed in their portraits as Severus and Lily quietly ran past, the sound of their snores and faint whistles reverberating through the vast corridor. A chorus line made up of suits of armour sang an off-key version of 'Silent Night as they dashed past like two shadows. Their low, rusty, and strangely hollow voices made both of them shiver.<p>

Eventually, they found a comfortable spot near Ravenclaw Tower. They had considered going to the abandoned classroom they'd visited the day Severus confessed his feelings for her but on second thought, it seemed rather dusty and dilapidated. So instead, they found a place by a pair of high-pained, stained glass windows. Outside, snow fell soundlessly, softly illuminating the night.

Lily took a seat on the floor and looked up at Severus expectantly.

"Sit by me," she said, patting the floor beside her.

Severus leaned against the wall and slid down it, until he was seated beside her. All he could think about was how dirty the floor must be – and how bloody cold – and of the possible intrusion of a professor or Peeves or a student or -.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Lily sighed, admiring the craftsmanship of the stained glass windows, its multi-colored segments reflecting off her pale skin.

He glanced at her sidelong and then the window, but did not respond. He passed her a bottle of Butterbeer and worked on opening his own.

"You're very quiet," Lily commented, cracking open her Butterbeer and taking a sip. "A sickle for your thoughts?"

Severus scratched his head uncertainly and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, allowing his curtain of hair to obscure his face.

"Remember when we were younger and you used to try to teach me how to dance?' he asked.

She smiled fondly at the memory. "Yeah, I remember you were a pretty rotten student," she teased.

He tore at his nails to distract himself from his fluttery nerves. "D'you think we could pick up where we left off?" His voice was low and tense.

After a brief pause in which she came to understand the meaning behind his request, she nodded. "Alright," she said.

Severus helped Lily clamber to her feet. They stood, motionless, waiting with bated breath for the other to make the first move.

His black eyes were fixed intently on her face. "Show me what to do," he said.

Lily started at the sound of his voice. Hesitantly, she stepped two paces closer and reached out for his hands.

"It's quite simple, really," she explained, guiding his hands to her waist. "All you do is put your hands here, I put my hands on your shoulders, and we sway from side to side."

Severus's long fingers splayed across the expanse of her waist, the clamminess of them causing them to stick slightly to the soft fabric of her dress robes.

"Like this?" he checked, his warm breath stirring the loose hairs framing her face.

"Perfect," Lily replied, her face taking on a decidedly rosy glow. "You have learned well, young grasshopper."

The tension was broken by Lily's light humor and Severus's snort of laughter.

They swayed together, left to right, left to right, moving in slow, small circles.

"This is simple enough," he said. "Why didn't you teach me to dance like this before? "

Lily glanced up and studied his face for a moment or two. She wondered just how long he had kept his feelings a secret from her.

"We were thirteen, Sev," she pointed out. "Imagine my parents walking into my room to catch us slow dancing. They would have begun to wonder, I'm sure."

Severus didn't reply. His eyes were glazed, lost in thought. "You know,"he began, "tonight was the first time in my life I was grateful for James Potter's existence. Most of the time I wish he would just disappear."

"We're not talking about him tonight, Severus," she said, her voice clipped with warning. "I refuse."

He didn't dare press her any further. He saw the brief smile and heard the tiny, irrepressible laugh earlier; that was enough to keep him quiet... for now.

They lapsed into silence once more.

Lily's face was level to his chest. She watched the rise and fall of his Adam's apple as he swallowed, her gaze drifting to focus on the sensitive area between his throat and collarbone. She bent forward and barely brushed the tip of her nose across the hollow spot there, inhaling the soapy smell of his skin.

She slid her hand from his shoulder to the pulse point on his neck, feeling it jump beneath her touch. Her fingers traced a lazy path under his hair, stroking the nape of his neck. His chin grazed her temple as he lowered his head to rest it against hers, feeling the familiar pull in his gut, wanting to be closer.

It didn't seem real or possible for them to be touching like this, her warmth and softness folded up in his arms like a security blanket. He drew her further into his embrace, vaguely aware they had stopped dancing at this point, trying to make up for the time wasted dreaming about holding her like this.

Severus was so accustomed to the practice of merely dreaming and constantly being torn between joy and pain, that his dreams seemed more real than what had transpired between Lily and him the past week. He doubted he would ever fully wrap his mind around this achievement: how it happened and why.

Lily lifted her face from his chest and touched her nose to his.

"Everything all right?" she murmured.

_I'm having the best bloody night of my life, _was his mental response.

Severus gave a short nod. "I'm fine," he assured quietly.

He pulled her with him as he stepped backward and braced himself against the stone wall, the cold cutting through the fabric of his dress robes and stinging his warm back. Severus lifted his hands and smoothed Lily's hair back so he could get a fuller view of her face. Everything about her features was soft and feminine – her full mouth, the kindness of her almond-shaped eyes, and the heart-like shape of her face.

He tilted her chin up and brushed his thumb over the freckle below her jaw, the one he often saw when she spread out on the grass in the small clearing by the river. As she gazed up at the sky and dreamed, he sat cross-legged beside her and mindlessly shredded leaves and grass, wondering what it be like to kiss that freckle and what she would do if he did.

She blinked as the corner of her mouth drew up. "What are you thinking?"

Severus's hands came to rest on her shoulders. "Nothing much," he sighed. "I'm just excited to go back to Cokeworth. I love when it's just the two of us." _And this time I won't have to deal with my parents._

Lily's wide grin made the corner of her eyes crinkle. "Me too," she said sincerely. "I can't wait for my parents and I to teach you what an authentic Muggle Christmas is all about."

Severus perked. "Petunia won't be there?" he made no effort to conceal the eagerness in his voice or expression.

Lily rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh. "Only for a few days," she said. "I don't know if she's staying at the house, though. My mum said in her last letter that she's bringing a man home this year to meet the family, so it should be interesting to see what this one is like, considering she has horrible taste in men."

Severus made a small, disparaging noise. "I'm sure she says the same about you."

Lily sighed in agreement. "Yeah," she said quietly. "I don't want to talk about it, though. There's no point."

Severus knew talking about Petunia upset Lily because of the way their relationship had disintegrated over the years, despite her attempts to salvage it.

He gave her a reassuring half-smile and rubbed her back, freezing when his palm ran over the clasp of her bra.

Inadvertently, he rubbed his fingers back and forth, feeling the band running across her back through the cloth, a look of intense concentration upon his face. Lily froze, eyes widening, as she coupled his facial expression with the location of his hand.

"What're you doing?" she asked tightly.

Severus removed his hand as if burned.

"Nothing," he swore, feeling his heart leap into his throat.

_So much for good intentions, _he thought. He sighed in relief when she shrugged it off and resumed her seat on the ground, claiming she was starved. They spent the rest of the evening sipping Butterbeer, sharing the treats they'd confiscated from the Christmas party, recalling memories of their childhood, and making plans for winter break – just like old times but with the promise of something new, as well.

* * *

><p>By the time Severus and Lily reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, the entrance to the Gryffindor common room, it was well past curfew; they spoke in whispers so as not to wake the multitude of sleeping portraits surrounding them every which way.<p>

"That was the best Christmas party to date," Lily beamed.

Severus's mouth twisted in a small smile, relieved. Even though he had recently shared a lot of his worries and insecurities with her, more so than he'd ever done before, he hoped she would never know just how insecure he was, especially with her. He realized that opening up didn't inflict as much harm as he once believed, but it reached a certain point where he felt pathetic and weak – and if there was one thing he refused to let go, it was his dignity and self-respect.

Severus lifted his hand and trailed the back of his fingers across the softness of her cheek, stooping low to kiss her awkwardly on the side of her mouth. It was the first he had taken the initiative to kiss her first.

"Goodnight, Lily," he breathed and turned to leave.

Lily caught his arm and drew him back for a real kiss. When they came up for air a few minutes later, both of them were cross-eyed and delirious. He watched as Lily was grumpily admitted through the portrait hole by the Fat Lady, and began his long trek to the dungeons once the hidden door had swung shut. Collapsing on his bed in a disheveled heap, Severus replayed the night through his head, lingering on the new things he'd learned to do with his mouth. He fell asleep in his dress robes, willing time to move faster until they were once again boarding the Hogwart's Express to London.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you to all of the readers who have stuck with this story and provided endless support with words of encouragement/constructive criticism. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was fairly easy to write. Surprisingly, I didn't take coffee breaks every five minutes, like I usually do. I'm eager to move on to the next chapter because it will begin with Severus's and Lily's winter break. Finally. I've been waiting forever to get to this part. _


	13. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to do this, but I just wanted to let my readers know that I haven't abandoned this story and I'm in the process of rewriting it. 'Enhancing' it would be a better word. I've read through it a few times and I just feel that I could tie the story together better and add more things to the plot, such as fleshing out James's characterization and the relationship between Severus and Lily. I want to thank all of my readers and followers; your support means the world to me and it's the one thing that motivates me when I don't feel like continuing with the story. I'd really like to finish it but school and flaws within the story have kept me from working on it these past months.

Jungle Jenna


	14. Updates

**Updates:**

I just wanted to let my readers know that I've rewritten the first four chapters of "Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches". Originally, I intended to revise the fifth chapter, only; but upon closer inspection of my writing, I realized there were many things I needed to fix, as far as character depth and plot development are concerned. I've gone through and have added/altered many things, which will have an impact on later chapters. I intend to rewrite the whole story.

I thought that some of you might be interested in going back to read what I've changed. I haven't deviated from the concept or essence of the original story. I have simply taken more time to flesh out Severus and Lily's friendship, their blossoming romance, and the impact his decision to remain faithful to her had upon his relations with his aspiring Death Eater friends. I apologize for not providing you with a fresh update, but hopefully you find my changes to the story satisfying.

Jungle Jenna


End file.
